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𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭

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[ There's a moment there where her eyes drift shut, his warmth serving to lull her into relaxation somehow despite the bitter cold of the air around them; and she wonders in passing if she should apologize, because where he's warm, she has to be cold, and would that not be uncomfortable for him?

Is she not, somehow, making him even colder?

He speaks, though, and it draws her attention back to reality, has her eyes opening once more as she peers up at him. He's offering her an opening, she realizes, freedom to talk about anything without it being privy to anyone other than him—

And somehow, she knows without asking that she can trust him.

Despite that, though, it doesn't make it much easier to open up, especially not when it comes to the cards she's always played close to her chest. She sighs, and shifts back from him ever so slightly, staying close enough to maintain contact for warmth, but far enough away that she can look at him without feeling like her face is going to catch alight. ]

What would you have me talk about, Master Diluc?

[ It's said with a smallest of smiles, an almost teasing quality at the edge of her voice as she addresses him with the formality used by his servants and the townspeople alike. ]

... last I checked if you called me that more than once you almost would feel as if you were going to smite yourself.

(A tease in response. The tension was easing more but he wasn't going to request she talked about anything specific. His objective earlier was the furthest from his mind and it wasn't as if he planned to press her on her mission either; he knew better than to do that to begin with.)

But, truthfully whatever you wish to say.

(Though the thought of her calling him 'Master Diluc' more often made him near wince. For some reason he preferred her being 'casual' whether it be his last name or first name used. Even if she was cold, he hardly noticed it by now with how his own body tends to be with these things.

Trust is something difficult to obtain from him. He assumed it was the same for her though he held no wish to spill out either of their secrets once this night was over.

He can keep such things with ease, he already had with his alter ego and he would willingly stop himself from revealing such details often if he must. The smallest of smiles on his mouth at least showed he did take this in stride however.)

Since for me there isn't much else I can speak on unless you want to question me further.

(He'd just have to invent a lie for why he came here in the first place if she chose that as a start.)

[ His comment is met with an amused smile, as a little more of the tension drains out of her body. It's true; she'd really rather not address him that way, although jesting is a different thing in her mind. (Not that she jests often, mind you. It's just kind of nice to imagine that the title makes him cringe.)

Also easing the tension for her is the fact that he's inviting her to speak about whatever she wishes— he's not, as she might otherwise have dreaded, trying to make her open up, whether it be about herself or her orders.

Still, she has no idea what she might say. She isn't exactly the most open individual, no matter how much she might wish to be. Wouldn't it be better—

Her wandering thought is cut short by another sharp blast of frozen wind into the cave, a swirl of snow and ice that seems determined to jeer at her; and where she has only just pulled back a little to ease her own embarrassment, she's forced to press back in close— and this time her arms lift to wrap around Diluc, too. ]

...I hate the cold.

[ It's murmured, and while it's definitely at least in partial response to the cold that surrounds them, there's nothing bitter or angry in her tone. Rather, if Diluc listens to her carefully, he might realize that it's something more genuine— something of a confession. ]

(Again due to their current position he was having to remind himself like a mantra to not go anymore further; they were close enough that he felt her pressed into his body but he was managing somehow enough to force his composure to stay as draining as it was. Were he to not stay composed she'd definitely smite him faster than he can say 'oops' about it. Regardless he did notice what she said.

He noticed all of it, he felt for her knowing that the temperatures currently were bad enough in how they were progressively torturing the two of them for attempting to ease their own awkwardness in this situation. Diluc truthfully at this point was wondering what he could say that wouldn't sound as if he was making light of her words.

Though he supposed it wasn't all bad to just for now take a deep breath first.)

... I actually never expected that, however, I can't say I blame you in the end for disliking it.

(Their current state aside, there was sympathy in him. Though he did after a brief pause wonder if he should state the obvious in how he dislikes drinking.

Ironic sure but he decided against it, everyone spoke of that openly but he never knew how to explain it without sounding odd.)

It might suit you as an element if I'm honest on it, but, I know it can be miserable. I don't dislike my own but... it does get tiring whenever I feel nothing except heat.

Edited 2022-10-26 03:57 (UTC)

[ There's something soothing in his words, even as she wrinkles her nose at them; it's clear from the way he answers that he doesn't understand what she means— and really, how can she blame him for that? Eula's positive she'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who understands it well.

It might suit you as an element, he says... but that's the problem. This isn't like his well-known dislike of alcohol, or the little Kätzlein girl's. Nor is it like the orphan boy in the Guild who loves adventuring so much despite his clearly being ill-suited. ]

It's not that. It's—

[ There's no one else like her. Her eyes close, because she doesn't want him to see the frustration or pain or even grief in her eyes. And lest any weakness show itself on her face, she leans in to press her head against his shoulder once more.

Yes, better this discomfort than allowing the shell of her emotions to crack open in front of him.

...Or is it trying to melt?

The idea makes her cheeks flush— yet another reason to be this close. ]

It isn't important.

...

(There's a softness in his actions, he must have missed something in the end then. Despite himself in the end he did shift, his arms comfortably around her in a better fashion yet he did start to wonder how far her grief went. His warmth was likely bad enough and yet he in the end held her like a lover.

Part of him still was hating himself over it and yet... despite that, he did not stop himself from doing this much in the end. He was always a well guarded man. His emotions, his thoughts, everything was kept perfectly in check around others.)

... what do you actually like then instead of ice?

(He isn't the best at this and he knew it. He swears he noticed briefly the pain despite her attempting to hide it even but he won't press her further on that.

So for once he would take furthering his own discomfort if it meant that she didn't have to feel as much grief and sorrow over his words.)

I'm sorry if it's too bold after my earlier comment but I did not intend to dredge up old memories, painful or not. My thought was that it's as if you were like ice, cold but fierce, frozen but pushing... or perhaps even something beautiful despite our differences.

(... he never was good at poetics here.)

[ The heat in her cheeks only deepens when Diluc's hold her changes, something softer, less stiff than before, something almost as if they are courting after all, like they're lovers and not two people on opposing parts of the same side, barely even allies let alone anything more.

She's still trying to figure out how to answer his question when he goes on to explain his words—

(and he calls her beautiful)

—and by the time he's done talking, there's a tight and uncomfortable feeling in her gut, a knot of emotion that just sits there, leaden and sickening. How dare he be so kind to someone like her? There would be an uproar if it got out: Mondstadt's most eligible bachelor, showing affection to the scion of a fallen family. It would damage her own reputation, too, as someone who doesn't require such kindness and understanding; as the strong, unflappable Reconnaissance Captain who needs no one.

But is she really so strong and unflappable? Right now, she feels weak.

...That's his fault too, she decides.

Before, Diluc Ragnvindr was someone about who she barely thought. But in just the last hour or so, she's created a mental page yards long of all the reasons she has now to seek vengeance on him.

In that case, is there really any harm in opening up further?

She wants to stay close, but he won't be able to hear her if she does, and so it's reluctantly that she pulls back slightly, her gaze still held carefully away from his, lest her eyes show vulnerability she's not ready to share. ]

The truth is... I think that is how most people see me. It keeps people at arm's length, and it lets me do my job— [ and those are good things, her tone says ] —but it's not who I really am.

[ Which leaves his first question, right? ]

...I want to be like water.

(Truth be told if asked he didn't necessarily care much to have that reputation. A lot of his actions were of a man wanting more to prepare one shall say; prepare really for his own carefully constructed revenge while not letting others see it. He did care plenty about Mondstadt, tried to genuinely make changes to it by taking care of the Fatui, the Order even whilst the sole person who knew was Kaeya. And perhaps Rosaria though she herself wouldn't say a word to begin with outside of hints and forewarning unlike Kaeya who simply said nothing unless it would amuse him.

Her words were taken in despite their current position, though there was at least something of an apologetic look to his gaze for how he shifted to hold her in the end. His thoughts aside this did serve to remind him of something he thought he heard about. That her movements were like a dance. Free, flowing, and expressive in how she releases it but Kaeya said little about it.

Nothing more than that as if he had to see it to know.

The thought which sunk deep in him was enough to make him wonder just what it is that he saw briefly from it. He wouldn't question her on that since it would be apparent that something is wrong if he knew that detail thanks to him amongst other things. Diluc hated to admit it but Kaeya's position as his insider in the knights was ironically too good to not compromise given the two did fall apart over what happened.

The gears turning in his head aside, he supposes that it's only fair he say something himself. Normally such thoughts would be kept well guarded and yet...)

... flow like water then, dancing through the night one can say?

(He hoped that wasn't too obvious though he can always blame Kaeya for mentioning that briefly in a letter meant for him.)

Maybe that's why I can see both maybe as fitting you, to dance like water, to despite that glide through everything in frigid bloom gracefully. (Though he did sigh a bit after admitting such things, that sounded harder on him than holding her looks like.) ... though this is only my thoughts to begin with.

(The brief pause gives him enough time to think over another answer.)

... truthfully I feel more as if people idolize me too much. It gets suffocating, I don't mind keeping others at arms length due to what happened to me but it doesn't change the fact that it feels more as if they're not seeing me as a person. (A person with his own thoughts, whims, and desires.)

With the staff at the winery they've seen more of me than others, admittedly so has Kaeya and yet... it still doesn't change the fact that if I were more honest that some of my reasons for these things are borderline selfish aside from really just me wanting to do what I can for Mondstadt in my own way.

(She didn't need to hear further on what he meant by 'borderline selfish'. His identity as the Darklight Hero was for him to bear and Kaeya to bear despite Rosaria seemingly figuring it out.)

[ ...dancing through the night, he says, and her eyes widen, and then narrow, and her head tilts— more like snaps, really— in his direction, and for a moment he'll see the bright coloration of her cheeks, and a brand-new hint of fury behind her purple-yellow eyes before they soften again in the next beat, replaced by apologetic realization before she ducks her head again.

Either she's been spending too much time with his estranged brother, or she's entirely too physically compromised right now— or perhaps both— but in the time they've spent here, she's come to know him better than to assume the worst of his phrases, even when they're laden with accidental innuendo. Without a doubt, Diluc actually meant dance, nothing else.

She takes a breath, and then nods. There are words on her tongue, confirmation, but he's talking still, telling her that he can see her both as water and ice, and he's doing nothing to ease the flush on her cheeks. ]

...Dance is one of the few customs of my clan I maintain. [ The words are spoken softly, with a near-hesitance far unlike the bold statements he's probably already used to from her. ] Growing up, it was something I enjoyed... more than etiquette lessons, anyway. It's not something I really have time for anymore, so... I found a way to combine it with my bladework. That might be what you have heard about.

[ With that said, she falls silent again to let him talk too. The focus on his issues is— nice might be the wrong word, but it's enough time that it helps the color of her cheeks fade, that she can look up at him once more, her head canting to the side as she listens, eyes searching his.

Imagine, she thinks, feeling overly idolized! There's almost a slight smile on her lips at the thought— not of wistful yearning, but of amusement, because they truly come from such different worlds, don't they? And yet despite that, despite everything they've done that is so different... is there not something about their situations that marks them as being the same?

It's now that one of her arms uncurls from where it's wrapped around him, her gloved hand coming up to rest on his shoulder instead. A gesture of comfort, perhaps, one similar to the type she would give to Amber, or perhaps one of camaraderie— either way, now unthinkingly bestowed upon him. ]

You do a lot, [ and she's sure she doesn't even know all of it, either ] and I have no doubt that everyone is grateful for that. But— I understand what you mean. It is easy for people to see you not as who you are, but as what you represent.

[ And despite experiencing the negative effects of that for herself, hasn't she been guilty of doing the same to him? ]

(For a moment there he worried that he would have to clarify that he did not in fact mean this the way Kaeya would have; now if it were Kaeya he knew just as well that he would have meant the other meaning had his brother been the one to say it instead. Though he himself did not mean it with that intention, he meant really it in a normal fashion. Next time he just needs to remember to say it differently involving his words in general.

But, he did listen. Calmly at that, she used her love of dance then to further her bladework? That did explain why he heard it though he'd have to later grill a certain liar on why he didn't tell him about Eula being there. Regardless he himself could not bring himself to mention this part even as he heard her speak. The imagery of it did in fact fit what he heard too and really the picture of it.

Gliding, dancing, and fluttering in frozen bloom as he had said.

It was... very fitting despite not knowing the full specifics, with her movements and her pushing onward turning the battlefield into her own personal dance floor. Though he'd keep that last bit to himself to not cause her to be angry again.)

I see... (And that he did. There were vague memories that he never once saw her as children or perhaps not that often aside from the alienation of Eula from really her family's reputation. He had to wonder what they even were doing but he didn't dare ask there either. That was something he'd rather her speak on her own terms about.) That's why I chose to keep the Winery after my father passed, the Angel's Share too... I may dislike alcohol and yet I couldn't help but do that. They meant as much to him as did him seeing me be a knight.

(Though he felt as if he may have disappointed him with his leaving if he were watching over him. Regardless he did seem just a little caught off guard she was trying to comfort him too about it. About feeling as if he were being looked at like a symbol, an object. It was true that he felt this way.

Being scrutinized over every little thing he did under the looking glass for those who live in Mondstadt's view. He couldn't help but start to feel as if he were losing what should have made him human. At least human to himself the more that it went on.

It worsened as of late since he hated to admit it but being alone has really done a number on him. Despite saying he didn't need others the way Kaeya used them.)

... a lot of it is... it does get tiring. I never once saw myself as a paragon or something untouchable, I simply wanted to go further. And even then my decision to leave the knights was not one I did on a whim.

(Because he knew if he stayed it'd only be buried further.)

So yes, it does get suffocating... what makes it ironic is that I actually didn't mind the way you spoke to me. (Because despite her negativity toward him, she wasn't looking at him like something to put on a pedestal regardless. She looked at him differently enough that he couldn't help but feel more at ease just a little.) ... admittedly that's why I mentioned you'd want to smite yourself over calling me 'Master Diluc', hearing that from you was about as foreign as hearing Kaeya tell the truth.

(Of course he had to make that small joke but it was true.)

Edited 2022-10-26 13:50 (UTC)

[ Perhaps it's weird, but she thinks she can see herself dancing for him, someday; showing him the way ice can turn to water through movement, even on the field of battle. But it's a passing thought, one she ushers quickly out of her head in favor of focusing on what he's saying, liking the fact that she can look at him without being embarrassed beyond compare.

She does, however, lower her hand from his shoulder, pulling it back to hold against her own chest, as if in doing so she can somehow prevent herself from reaching out to touch him again. And in response to his words, she nods— She has lots of questions, if she's honest, but they're things she probably shouldn't ask, things that aren't her business no matter which way she looks at it.

Instead, she smiles her amusement, responds openly to the joke he's making. ]

If it makes you feel better, even saying it once was too much for me. I gagged a little and everything. [ It's an exaggeration, but it's designed to make him laugh, to keep the atmosphere light despite the fact that they're wrapped up in one another like lovers, that they're sharing intimate truths that they wouldn't dare to tell other people.

(At least, she wouldn't. She can't confirm that the same is true for him, not really.) ]

The other side of it is suffocating too. [ The admission comes after a moment or two, her smile turning a little awkward now. A pause, and she sighs. ] People love you without knowing who you are. And they hate me in the same way.

[ The urge is there, to touch his shoulder again, but she keeps it back, keeps her hand firmly against her chest. ]

Honestly... I made the mistake of judging you without knowing you, too.

(It did seem to help him relax more despite himself. His own bladework was often times considered in a sense graceful yet remarkably wild like fire; if she did somehow manage to see him after this performing his work by clearing out the Order then he'd have to leave quickly. Of course that being if he gets caught and if she does in fact stay around.

He'd have to make certain she doesn't notice the mop of red hair if she intends to go forward with her own mission in the end once everything has settled. Though for now that's the furthest from his mind. He'll either way if she does somehow show him her dance commit that to memory.

Without being odd about it anyway.)

I thought so. Although I'd think that it's best to not hear that from you regardless. (After all, he would rather not be called Master Diluc by her nor was he comfortable with her doing it after realizing he preferred her not doing so. He had her held in a way most women would kill for, this he knew.

Yet they wouldn't be able to hear these things from him either. He wouldn't speak of all to anyone; only they would know these conversations and originally he wholeheartedly intended to not share but found himself deciding perhaps he should in the end.)

I've noticed. Though I dare say we both are guilty of that despite ourselves even if I said I didn't hate you for your family or your reputation. (Another intimate detail going out for her to hear then. As if that comfort of them not speaking helped a little more.)

... for what it's worth I did keep aloof due to our similarities being strong enough that I worried we'd be at one each other's throats more. (And he held no wish to worsen her life either.) I was more worried that I might make things worse on you by doing that knowing how they viewed me.

(And... it is a small worry given that she has more than enough on her shoulders that can give progressively worse if they got caught fighting.) As strange as it sounds I would have still hid any of it happening since not everyone has to like me or get along with me, but, I would not have wanted that backlash to fall on you. (Though he did seem to be more comfortable in holding her now.)

[ She smiles at his words, although it's not a happy smile— rather, it's wry, full of frustration despite being an expression usually reserved for joy. Once, when asked about the vintner, she complained to the Traveler about him being painfully aloof; yet here he is, giving not only reason for it, but good reason, leaving her with the knowledge that she's avoided someone thoughtful and kind— someone whose companionship she genuinely doesn't mind right now— for something entirely unfair.

It's yet another mark against him. If he's not careful, he's going to end up on said Traveler's level, and that would be bad for them both.

So she shakes her head, her expression hopefully as severe as she's aiming for. ]

I don't need your protection. [ The words aren't angry, not like they were when she practically yelled at him about not needing his food. ] I have long learned to take care of myself regardless of how I am viewed by the general populace. [ And while their thoughts toward her may certainly darken, if they were to learn of her previous irritation toward him, or the situation in which they find themselves now, the people of Mondstadt can't really treat her much worse than they do already.

That doesn't mean she won't keep this a secret, though. Even if she hadn't already promised, she has no interest in people learning more about her— or worse, seeing her in some way as weak.

But that is not something she is interested in getting into. So, a change of subject is needed: ]

So tell me, Ragnvindr: what are these selfish reasons of which you spoke?

Then it's clear to me that it's fine enough for you to visit the Angel's Share, though please do be mindful of the bards there or if you spot anything unusual such as Sister Rosaria deciding to drink there.

(As usual she does confuse him. Though his expression shifted, almost as if the life was gone in it and he had been reminded once more of what he cannot dare tell her with such ease. He was quiet, thoughtful despite it. A tired expression that seemed almost as if he were wondering if he would be okay in the end knowing what he must do and what must be sacrificed.

His life had been spent for the last few years chasing this goal and yet he still cannot be open about it. His father's killers brought to justice and the end of not only the Harbingers but the Abyss Order; she wasn't ready he thought to know the truth.

He wasn't certain if she would care to know despite what she was saying even as he looked to the floor with a sense of vulnerability that he despised showing to her so openly. Instead of an uncrowned king he near looked like a tired one.)

... is it wrong of me to say that I cannot answer it fully aside from part of it centering around my father's death?

(And Crepus dying did in fact spread throughout the land, but not the truth. It was why for once that tired expression he had shown briefly shifted into something darker, a glower, his heat intensifying at the thought of it again. No matter how long it had been it still hangs over him.)

The thought of it being swept away as if he meant nothing, the thought of my pleas being ignored when I tried to beg them to find the truth...

(Then later finding out from Jean and Kaeya both that Eroch was attempting to join the Fatui... all of it made him sick, made him angry by the heat that was building up from his body. But it was only after he reminded himself that she was there, her element was opposing his, and that it would make her more uncomfortable due to that did it stop.

Like nothing was there again, as if that side of him that would always be angry had faded back into his usual.)

... I'll leave you with this despite not saying it, the Fatui have attempted to kill me multiple times, let this sink in since you can't say a word either. If you're so incline to know further, ask Kaeya.

[ Something about the way his countenance changes sends a shiver through her body— despite the fact that if anything, his warmth has only increased. And while she doesn't know the whole story (between Kaeya and Amber, she's heard pieces here and there, but she's positive it's not the whole extent of it, and she's never asked— it's not really her business), she can understand from his words alone the truth of his anger.

(And if it's not really her business, then why is she asking now? There's a cold anger twisting in her stomach at the way he suddenly looks so vulnerable, so tired— even if the expression and warmth quickly fade back into his usual stoicism, she...)

Her frown deepens, and it's once again without thought that she lowers her hand from her chest, moving to wind her arm around him once more, that same glove coming to rest on his back instead, and once again she's left wondering why she's trying to comfort him when he can clearly take care of himself.

She sighs once more. ]

I understand that you cannot tell me. And I won't press Captain Alberich for more information either. But... [ It's here that she pauses, thinking over the words she's about to say once more, a breath rushing out between pursed lips. ] ...You know I am good at finding answers. So if there is something— If you need help finding something, you need only let me know.

[ Despite thinking over them so carefully, the words still leave a weird feeling in her mouth once they're spoken into the cold air. Everyone knows of her loyalty to the Knights, and she is not a member of Diluc's family; nor is she a lover or even really a friend. So why...?

She shakes her head, trying to dislodge the feeling. ]

I'm sure that from someone like myself, that is a strange offer.

(That anger had always been there nor would he ever lose that rage. Until he dies or the Harbingers are gone, he will forever hold it close to his heart and away from the eyes of others. Perhaps it's why he felt himself simply be tired again though this time the vulnerability from earlier wasn't as strong in it. It seemed as if he held himself back from the full extent after showing his anger at the injustice.

He shouldn't involve her. He really shouldn't, he shouldn't even feel as if she was someone important enough to hear this despite their vow of secrecy about their current state and yet he told her about the target on his back.

Even he had these moments of being a raging wildfire and yet...)

... I've shown Kaeya the full extent of all of it. I didn't survive unscathed typically, none of it was easy. I only remember strongly that I refused to stay on the ground and forced myself to move every time, I was too angry to let them end me.

(She didn't have that trust the way Kaeya ironically does in a sense and yet he still was telling her. The tension in his back from where she held him was fading even; like nothing was there gradually from his own anger earlier. She hates him... he knows she does still and yet...

Yet he couldn't help but believe her. His stoicism had faded into him sighing heavily, it wasn't easy to do that for him either.)

... it's not since I do know you mean it despite our differences. I don't know how useful I'd be in anything since you made it clear you want to do things with your own strength however in return. (And revealing his intelligence network as well as the fact Kaeya is in it would be dangerous.) But... I suppose that my sword arm is better than nothing if I'm absolutely needed.

(The Gravestone was proof of that anyway given it was difficult to even earn from Boreas. He shouldn't be offering that regardless, they weren't lovers, they weren't close but... why did he feel as if he could trust her more than he would have imagined?

And even then, why did he feel safest there with her no matter how much he told himself he didn't need this.)

[ She listens in silence, merely nodding in response to his earlier statements. It's not her place to comment on them apart from the offer she made— which she's still entirely unsure about now that it has been made, but there's nothing she can do about that. She does notice though that he mentions that Kaeya has seen everything, and she wonders privately: is it because of their fight, or has he learned to trust the Cavalry Captain again?

(And if so, why?)

Despite her determination not to ask questions or make comments, the curiosity is there, chewing holes and poking its nose where it's not needed or wanted.

Although if she were to know he believed that she hated him, she'd be surprised. Dislike and hatred are two entirely different things in her mind, after all. And even if she had actually hated him— would that be something she could safely say anymore? Sitting here like this, enclosed in their combined bedrolls and with their arms around each other, her imagination keeps wandering to the idea of something more—

And yet there's no reason for that, just as there was never any reason for her to truly dislike him.

Is she really, truly that starved for affection that his helping to warm her up against the bitter cold of the blizzard enough to make her as vapid as his flock of admirers?

Another sigh— it comes soon enough after his offer that she worries for a moment he might misinterpret it, but hopefully her smile, genuine even if it is thin, is enough to put his mind at ease on that, along with the words that follow it: ]

I'll be certain to keep that in mind, Ragnvindr. Thank you.

(Her own thoughts swirling about seemed to be noticed by him though he knew himself that their fight was always the cause of his decision to begrudgingly trust Kaeya further for the time being. They still were so fractured apart on terms of their affection as siblings; though this didn't stop him from feeling it necessary to include him in his actions. His role was to simply help him while gathering information.

That was what Diluc decided on no matter his dislike of him.

His own mind had been wandering into something deep enough that he began to notice smaller details. He didn't think of her as being one of his admirers nor would he ever throw her into being such a lowly thing; the thought of her being able to see him simply as himself is what causes it. She didn't need to be disrespected like that.

(Though he himself had a feeling if Kaeya were there he'd comment the two of them should clearly let their tension out and offering to go to 'sleep' if they're quiet enough.)

The thought there of course agitating him just a little but that faded as soon as the thoughts began again to attack him relentlessly. Forcing them down was not getting any easier but those thoughts of more weren't helping him either, she isn't a lover so why... he shouldn't be going there.

Is he really that horrible that he now has to seek these things from Eula Lawrence of all people who looked mainly at him as someone she wanted nothing to do with? It was starting to get unbearable, but he's making himself remain composed even as a small yet tired smile made itself known across his lips in response to her words.)

... was there anything else you were curious about?

(Maybe he can stop thinking of it the more she talks.)

[ The silence lasts for just long enough that her thoughts go back to wandering again, and she's left trying in vain to shut them up as the frustration continues to mount. If it weren't for the fact that this place is so cold, she'd just pull away, put distance between them so that she has something else to think about, something other than the comfortable warmth that his body— and his embrace— provides. But as time passes and the sky outside gets darker not just with the blizzard but also the time of day, the temperature has only dropped further. At this point, separating from him would be the most foolish thing she could do— and that includes the conversations they've been having.

Still, at least for now she's not sure she has any other questions. Nothing he could answer, anyway. And so she shakes her head, offering him a small smile. ]

No. I don't think so.

[ Maybe she should fill the space by telling him all the ways in which he's now on her list for most extreme vengeance.

Or she could try to be a good conversationalist. That might work too. ]

How about you? Is there anything you are curious about?

[ Not that she exactly wants to talk about herself, but... it's better than silence, surely. ]

... unfortunately for us not currently, the only thing I believe I can say for myself is that I've always disliked being angry. My temper is... really it's a blessing it's not horrible but once it starts it's difficult to manage.

(A sigh left him immediately after that. With this there was nothing that could be said now, he could feel it in his gut that at this rate something worse may happen and that he may not live to see another day if she grew incredibly angry though he would not do anything to her instead if it were the other way around. These thoughts were starting to overpower him despite forcing himself to stay still in their embrace.

He may not know what her extreme vengeance list is meant to do but he would be more worried if she were going to attempt to take his head one day for simply trying to be human with her instead of the stoic Diluc who would always be aloof.

It was growing all the more agitating with the thoughts however fluttering toward her lips and more but he would not dare move or anything. Damn it all... what sort of effect is she even having on him to make him wonder just how she turned him into an awkward boy instead of a grown man.

With the cold outside getting worse he didn't have the luxury either of releasing her and leaving for his own sanity. But by now he had closed his eyes and attempted to make himself think really of anything else, which didn't seem to be working either since he could still picture her like that and all of it.

He is going to seriously murder Kaeya later.)

... the blizzard sounds nastier than I thought it would have been.

(He hopes the random comment will at least detract from his thoughts, maybe from both their thoughts.)

[ In response to his words, Eula smiles, although at the point the expression is somewhat strained. She knows nothing of his thoughts, only her own, but even in her ignorance her mind travels along much the same line as his, with her brain focused laser-sharp on the shape of his mouth, the expression in his eyes, on the gentle strength in the arms that are wrapped around her.

It would be so easy to close the little gap between them in a way that would infuriate every last hopeful bachelorette in Mondstadt, and yet—

He mentions the blizzard, and it pulls her back to the reality of their situation, leaving her internally cursing herself for being so easily swayed into fantasy yet again. She feels her cheeks heat, a wild, worried thought that perhaps he can see through her, that he knows what's on her mind... ]

It does. It seems that we have no choice but to settle in here for the night.

[ A frown, because that is certainly not going to help things. Another black checkmark for Jean, then.

(And one for Kaeya. One for Diluc, for— well, for whatever this is. And perhaps even one for herself, for not being adequately prepared for this excursion.) ]

Yet another secret we'll both be forced to keep. [ Her laugh sounds hollow, echoing the tired frustration written over her face. ] Although at this point, what's one more to the list?

(If only she knew he's still stuck thinking of the same thing she was earlier with getting lost in these things. He's simply trying to stop himself from acting on it himself given that he didn't know just what her reaction would have been; as Kaeya would call it this is a perfect scenario for them both. Both famous and infamous scions of Mondstadt with such glaring similarities beginning to realize their tension runs deeper than just dislike and aloofness.

Whilst likely telling them that there is no harm in them surrendering themselves before he winds up removed from this cavern... by Diluc deciding to hit him no less from his already thin patience due to their current state reaching a boiling point to be unable to stop himself from that.

But she's right, unfortunately. They would have to settle there.)

... and it being hopefully done with by morning would be fantastic.

(Forced to settle, forced to deal with building thoughts though he did not know she was seriously considering kissing him either. He's trying to force his eyes to not linger on her lips in front of her too; had she found out just what is running through his head he's certain that he's not going to leave this cave 'fine'.

Of course that depends on whatever she does to him too in response. Her revenge is something he long since ironically decided he did not want to be on the receiving end of.)

[ Another gust of cold wind around the cave has Eula pressing in close once more— and on one hand, it's a good thing because she doesn't have to look at his face anymore; on the other, the closeness is just further in the direction of opposite what she's felt comfortable with from the beginning of this.

(Of course, deep down, what Eula feels comfortable with and what she wants are two entirely different things, at this point, but that's a thought aggressively shoved to the side even as her face heats all over again.) ]

Agreed. We both have our reasons for being up here, after all.

[ Secrets to keep. ]

I hope you realize at this point, however, that you won't be able to shake me off so easily. [ And for a single moment, perhaps, the words almost sound nice. But she's pausing only for a breath, her words continuing in the next: ] This evening alone, you've committed enough transgressions that merely planning vengeance from afar is no longer good enough.

[ And the thing is... for Eula, this is about as nice as she's likely to get, at least on the surface. While her belief in and need for vengeance are both true things, there's also the fact that— while she'll never admit it— it's also part of the shell she's formed around herself, allowing herself to get closer to people even while keeping them at arm's length. She's done it with Amber, she's done it with the Traveler—

She refuses to consider it might be what she's doing with Diluc right now. (She refuses to acknowledge it's what she's already done with the two of them.) ]

(Damn it. Of course she's up further against him whenever he's trying to not focus on the thought though he is grateful that he would not dare think of kissing her in this state now that her face is hidden. What a relief in that regard though his resonance was likely helping her at this point from what closeness she's getting.

Even if he didn't know what else he could do to remotely enable that heat of his to go throughout her body without pushing certain boundaries further. It's nothing more than just this he can do with holding her; with truly just making certain she survives the night knowing her life is more at risk than his own.)

... does that mean you intend to follow me after this? (Somehow he has a gut feeling that she is going to find out the truth of his reasons for being there through that. But, he's worried, he isn't certain what she might do now that she intends to be closer and she is in fact unpredictable in how her vengeance can go. This was the variable he in fact had been hoping to avoid earlier.) Then if you're going to track me, not a word of what you see is meant to be spoken to others.

(His tone though tired was far more serious than earlier. He won't tell her the truth but the moment she sees him there, enacting his own dance in his own way with the Gravestone she'll likely know. He knew he should have taken another sword but it's far too late to regret his decision.

She'll just have to take it to the grave with her as he will alone.)

[ She shakes her head— and she certainly doesn't mean it to, but the breath of her laugh gusts over his throat, her lips curving into an amused smile. ]

I have no intention of following you, Ragnvindr. I have my own objectives to deal with, remember?

[ How is she supposed to explain what she means without it sounding— ]

I mean only that the feud between us is now something longer term.

[ Never mind that poor Diluc probably didn't realize they had a feud between them in the first place... But when casual disinterest turns so quickly into attraction, how can this be anything but?

(Never mind that disinterest has turned into its exact opposite, her curiosity once again piqued by the knowledge that he's doing something so clandestine...) ]

As such, I am affording you the courtesy of letting you know that in the future— [ She pauses, shaking her head. ] Know only that I will be keeping a closer eye on you than before.

[ Of course, the words might sound more threatening if she wasn't literally trembling of cold in his arms. (And yet, despite all that, she would argue if asked that she is fine.) ]

Edited 2022-11-05 04:52 (UTC)

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