vergeltung | 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭

[ He's met with another sharp inhale, Eula's eyes snapping shut again in response to his further admission even as they start to creep open in the wake of hers. Honestly... honestly, it's still hitting her too. As much as she might try to tell herself it's the cold, or the unusual closeness, or any of those things, even lying back to back with him like this she can't ignore the insistence of it. ]

...Yes. Me too.

[ Her voice is quiet, as shaky as her breath feels as it whistles between her lips in soft clouds of heat against the cold night. Her arms tighten against her chest, the pressure there now feeling like she's wearing a corset or something similar, constricting her already-too-short breath still further.

Perhaps unhealthy, but the only way she feels like she can stay grounded right now between the bitter, insistence of her icy thoughts and the desperation in her heart to let herself be washed away in the water of her feelings.

She's silent for a little longer. ]

Perhaps... it would make for a reasonable test, I think.

[ She cringes the moment the words escape her, but the truth of them remains in the air, floating on the other side of him, staring her in the face; her brain and heart alike pushing a last-ditch effort at her to convince her one way or the other. Whether it's just the cold, or something realer than that... ]

...

(He's considering it. She isn't wrong about it even as he tries to pretend that he's not in need of these things usually whilst driving himself to the brink of being unable to think or quite honestly stop himself from collapsing in some form from how much he pushes himself. It's why he doesn't do anything to take the chance by force even as he hesitated a little in shifting around for her.

The hesitation came from his mind arguing once more with him even as he for now just lays there this time again facing her. Even if it's her back. His cheeks were reddened enough that to others this would be quite the surprise to see from someone like Diluc.

He might be silent but it's what he told her he'd do. Though his intentions are to be gentle about it instead of haphazardly rushing forward into these things with her being uncertain herself.

That and... he does have the feeling the thoughts won't stop either way.)

I did say that I won't do anything unless you want me to...

(So the choice is up to her since it's clear by his tone and the fact he turned to face her that he's willing to do this. Even if he thinks this won't stop the thoughts or really what this may perhaps be turning into.)

[ Once again she's met with a strange combination of feelings. For one, there's the mixed anticipation and fear that comes with the movement behind her, the movement of the shared bedroll as Diluc turns to face her back.

For the other, of course, there's the irritation.

At him, again, rather than herself. (Which is something of a relief in its own way.)

Yes, he did say that— but didn't her words just now make her own feelings on the matter clear? He says he doesn't want to push anything, and yet at this rate he's going to force her to say it directly—

Now, he's deserving of the most serious vengeance she can possibly dream up.

It's for that reason that Eula is scowling when she turns to face him once more, the expression so intensely unimpressed that it's no doubt the first thing he'll notice about her— although a marked second is the heightened color of her cheeks, the way her eyes refuse to quite meet his. ]

Surely I've already made my wants on the matter quite clear...

[ Her tone starts sharp, attempting anger— by the end of it, she just sounds vulnerable, weak.

Ugh. ]

(An apologetic glance was given in response to her tone and irritation. Though he sighs about it, were this Kaeya he'd definitely have forced her to say more than just that though he's not necessarily as focused on it. He by no means has experience and if she looked closely he also wasn't trying to look her in the eye either despite himself. Really, the picture of a man who many held up so high was deteriorating into simply someone who forced himself into this state too.

But that is at least him attempting to ease the tension even if he realizes it was a poor attempt at it by how he's trying to pull himself together enough. All of which isn't easy for him to do currently; he told himself he's prepared for it yet now he thinks he overstepped his boundaries by making her irritated unintentionally.

At the very least she's not attempting to slay him where he lays at, so that's a considerable improvement to his thoughts earlier.

He just has to pull himself together enough for this... which is easier said than done.)

... right, my apologies.

(Though he did manage to finally make himself look at her, the tensions back, Kaeya's voice in the back of his mind is telling him that there's an art to this too though Diluc himself would rather experience it without being given long-winded and poetic explanations on how to go about kissing a woman.

Gods above he feels as if he's going to either die after this or be fine after this only to wake up somewhere that is not the winery later on in the week surrounded by whopperflowers without a weapon and in his night clothes.)

[ For as much as she can't bring herself to look properly at him, she can sense that he's not looking at her either; she's sure that if he were, she'd feel it, the way she feels it when eyes are on her as she walks through Mondstadt's cobbled streets. Between that, and the tension in his voice, she feels herself tense a little, her breath stuttered and short.

Gods, if Amber was here, she'd laugh right now. She's reasonably confident that only she could make kissing an attractive man look like the hardest thing in the known universe. And despite herself, she feels the color start to creep up her cheeks once more, especially once she feels his eyes actually on her—

(surely, she tells herself, that's ridiculous; one cannot truly feel a gaze, it's just that in the case of the Mondstadters, she knows it's there)

—Her own gaze shifts, a forced movement up into his face, and her stomach knots to find the scarlet of his eyes looking right back at her.

There's a sudden, strange urge to greet him. She bites it back. ]

You don't have to apologize.

[ They're both woefully out of their depth, after all. ]

(His eyes weren't filled with scorn, irritation, or really the mean spirited attitude that others in Mondstadt hold toward her. They only burned as harsh scarlet flames with a hint of it easing just enough; Diluc isn't certain how this will go truly.

He can still hear Kaeya nagging him despite his not being there saying that Eula is a fine choice for someone like him while attempting to push him into moving finally. His voice saying really this isn't as difficult as they're making it.

Woefully out of depth or not, one of them has to make the first move.

Were this one of those romance novels he can vaguely remember seeing Jean read in his younger years the scene would likely be different for the two of them. Words likely exchanged in a heated attempt of hiding themselves until they could no longer do so even as he takes a deep breath and eases his nerves first.

Since he doubts she would want to move first...)

... at the very least nobody will know.

(He makes it instead for her, leaning forward into a gentle yet likely warmer than expected kiss from his part. It's... not what he expected, on terms of his first, yet it all fell silent.

His thoughts, his tension, every part of him yelling prior to this to turn back due to not wanting to experience more heartbreak in his life.)

[ She has no idea what he's thinking in the moments leading up to the one where he leans in to kiss her, but he's almost correct in his thinking.

It's not so much that she doesn't want to make the first move— in fact, later on she'll berate herself for it, mock herself internally for freezing up like an embarrassed maiden— no pun intended. The truth of it is that she simply can't; rather, she finds herself just staring at him, looking at the burning red of his eyes and the tension in his jaw until he makes the move for both of them, his lips touching hers, gentle and warm.

There's a soft, surprised sound despite herself, her eyes sink shut, and in the next moment is silence, blessed and calm. For the first time in a long time, the thoughts and worries that cage her heart off like ice are gone, silenced by the warmth of his flame.

(She barely even hears the whistling cold winds of the blizzard outside, anymore.)

It's hardly something she recognizes right away; rather, she finds herself melting into him without a second thought, her body seeking naturally to close the gap between them, her hands lifting to his arms, her lips parting to his as she returns the kiss.

She's been kissed before, but it's never felt like this. ]

(It's more difficult to remind himself to not do anything more than this with the feeling washing over them.

He holds her again, melting himself as he wonders idly to himself if she's always felt this soft in his arms but that's a thought he is going to thankfully avoid voicing. He'd prefer to not have his earlier one of waking up without a weapon come true given circumstances at the moment.

It's not easy to pull away.

He can barely think beyond this moment; a feeling that his stomach near knotted over in creeping realization that the feelings were very real. Diluc can feel his heart tightening, burning, screaming as if it does not want to be broken once more to pieces in this moment.

He near forgets to breathe when he pulls away just enough though he's still near her lips, to let them recover for the time being. Any further and this evening would have more than secrets but now that the lines been crossed by them both...

He only hopes she does not have regrets even if part of him wants to kiss her again like that. The thought being of course ignored, for now, even if he's not certain she'd want to do it again so suddenly.)

[ It's over practically as soon as it starts; it lasts long enough only for her to feel his arms move to hold her, only for cold air to fill the space between their lips in the next moment, even as he hovers close. Her eyes blink back open, pupils blown wider than normal, something confused and unsure in her expression for a moment—

It's just like that that all the insecurities come rushing back in, flooding her with discomfort, and it's all she can do not to pull away further, put space between them once more like a shield of ice.

This whole thing may have just been a colossal mistake.

It would be one thing if he were someone she met after hours in one of the bars, both a little too drunk, both passionate with anger. Moments like those are made for regret, practically shimmering with it before they even start; feelings are given a wide berth, and at the end of the day what she gets from it is exactly what she expects.

No one has to get hurt.

But right now, the painful squeeze of her heart says otherwise. Whatever stupid, unfair sway he has over the women of Mondstadt, it's somehow caught her too. And that— that can't end well, no matter which way she looks at it.

Her eyes train onto the space just under the set of his jaw as she tries to keep her breathing steady. ]

... I don't... think this was just caused by the cold... or the loneliness...

(His voice was quieter than his usual attitude, the blunt edge gone, he's trying not to let it show that his own heart is panicking. His head is screaming too, by the look in his eyes it's all but hurting him to know that all of it ran deeper than he ever had realized. He's trying to hold strong.

But they did cross the line.

There's no returning, no running, no hiding from it after he realized that kiss was... truly something he never once felt would be magical. He hates being sappy about it but there was passion in it, there wasn't anger but feelings he thought was long since gone.

It's... truthfully enough to make him close his eyes, his vulnerability threatening to peek out and managing to much to his dismay. He didn't want it to but the tiredness from all of his fears being proven right has gotten far too much for him to handle.

He didn't want her to be like those women who eyed him as if he's a prize even if she may perhaps feel the same as him. Something he hopes won't change, fears will happen possibly too leaving him back alone at any point he feels an attraction.)

I... I'll stay silent like I said... (Though unsaid, there's a silent apology there knowing she dislikes the way his suitors would flirt and stare at him. The way Donna would sit there and wait for him too and speak as if he were to fall for her.)

[ In one breath, he tells her his answer: whatever this is, it's not the cold. It's not the loneliness. It's the same answer as hers, a realization that leaves her gut twisting in anxiety, leaves her heart pounding in her chest— something he can probably feel with how close they are once more.

And then, in the next: he swears once more to stay silent. Which—

For the first time since this all started, Eula realizes that she doesn't understand.

Of course, it makes sense. It's what they agreed on, after all. It's not like either of them wants this getting out to the public. She agrees with that. She wants that for herself, too. Whatever this is, it's complicated enough without other people trying to peer in.

And yet—

All or nothing, he said.

It can't be "all". Because of her reputation, of course, but also because of his— because of their need for themselves and for each other to keep this secret.

What does that make it, then?

Nothing. ]

R-Right. [ It's as much of an agreement as she can manage right now, not only to his confession, but to his promise. ] Me too.

[ Eula feels like she's going to be sick. ]

But... if I'm honest despite the vow... I don't think I can stop feeling this way... your reputation never once mattered to me and... it's leaning toward all for me despite myself. I don't...

(His words fell short, he's trying to not let all of it out. He doesn't want her to learn the truth of his alter ego but there's some manner of reluctance in his choices now. She's managed to enter too far for him to dare consider it. It's why he with a shaky breath makes a decision; he has no choice for part of it.)

... Eula... I... I'm going to tell you something that only Kaeya knows. Show it to be more specific, even if I couldn't be completely open on all of it and my goal... but it's something nobody else has seen.

(And perhaps a sign of how serious he is about it being toward all for him.

He's reluctant in releasing her, with him shuffling to remove what looked to be his coat knowing the temperatures were going to be worse on him. Once he does, he lays there with what looks to be scars in his arms. Nasty looking, almost as if he had been on the end of Fatui weaponry which all headed down his arms.

He didn't want to be this vulnerable again, he did not. It's why he looks almost as if he desires to crawl into a hole just by showing her part of what near killed him previously.)

... during my travels I've come across Fatui and the Order often. At the time I was fighting Fatui to be more specific and near died for that since I was alone. I can't tell you the exact time frame but, I can safely tell you that part of what drives me is wanting to get rid of them.

It's not just over my father, but I want to see the Fatui more importantly burn. The Abyss Order included.

(The heat to his tone, the way his eyes sparked into vicious flames suddenly like earlier. He's always thought of this and to tell her, to show her now, is part of his attraction as foolish as it is for him to do so.

With a heavy sigh, he cannot help but wonder if she might find him crazy.)

... if you're wanting it to be all with me despite our secrecy, there's a possibility you may find me more hurt, more injured, more scarred as it goes on.

(Though unsaid, there is also the possibility of his death too.)

[ And just like that, the world gets turned on its head.

She's so busy being lost in her own thoughts that she barely registers what he's said until he's pulling away, and then the disappointment and regret is crowding too loud over everything, swarming her, paralyzing—

It took her all of two seconds to drive him away—

Except he's shuffling to remove his coat, the bare skin of his forearms revealed despite the bite of the cold, and he looks uncomfortable for more than just that; honestly, he looks like she feels most of the time, like he wants to disappear. A feeling that, as her eyes trail over the vicious scars cut into his skin, she understands, even as her eyes widen in shock.

Weakness.

To be showing her this, he has to—

A deep breath, her brain slowly catching up on the words spoken before he moved: ...don't think I can stop...leaning toward all for me...something only Kaeya knows.

Another vicious churn in her stomach, another knot tied and tested, her eyes trailing in silence over the scars before they look back up at him, searching the red flames of anger in his. The Fatui... the Abyss...

Vengeance.

It's a lot to take in, and far more than she can possibly speak to, more than she has any chance of finding words for. While he surely hasn't revealed everything to her, just as he said, enough of his personal mission has become so suddenly clear that his pain, his divorce from the Knights, his aloofness all in one moment make sense to her. ]

Diluc.

[ His name sounds strange, foreign on the tongue of someone used to calling him by his surname alone, and where teasing him over his famous nickname may have made her cringe, this only makes the knot of anxiety in her stomach tighten still more, stuns her lips back into silence so that when she reaches gloved hands to his forearms once more, landing this time on bare skin, there's nothing else to say.

Instead, she closes the gap between them once more, her mouth seeking his in a kiss surprisingly gentle. ]

(He waits. He waits to hear he's insane, that he's lost his mind, that he shouldn't go to these extremes knowing that it can end him as easily before he reaches what he's after. There's anxiety knotting up in his own stomach too despite how he carries himself as he waits to let her lash out in whatever fashion she's going to choose.

But she didn't.

Instead he was met with her staring, her eyes on his arms then his own eyes. Though he hates being this vulnerable he's confused what it is she may perhaps be thinking.

It's only furthered when she says his actual name; her hands resting on his arms as he wonders just what he's about to be faced with. It was in fact strange to him too to hear her use his first name after she had consistently used his last name... but what caught him off guard most was what she did after.

His brain took a moment to register it, Eula Lawrence of all people kissed him. Though like earlier it all fell back to silence, his thoughts, his anxiety, and his worries now quiet as he responds in kind. Another warm kiss. The likes of which they melted into earlier.

Gods he hopes that they at least can control themselves enough in this cave if anything.)

[ Just like before, Eula finds it's so easy to fall into it, to melt in close to him once more, only this time her arms actually lift and encircle him, a sigh on her lips as they part into the kiss, her heart hammering in her chest. And she doesn't want to pull away; she wants to press closer, to indulge more, to continue the strange, not-unpleasant feeling twisting in her stomach, to keep the insistent thoughts in her head silent the way they are now—

But that's selfish, isn't it? This is about more than just her. Although admittedly, there's a hint of dread at separating from him because then she'll have to explain why she kissed him again, won't she?

Or maybe she can just...

It's reluctantly that she pulls back from the kiss, and as he did earlier she can't bring herself to pull away entirely, hovering close to him still, her breath short and warm against his lips. ]

I will not be the person who tells you not to chase after the vengeance you seek. [ Her eyes remain on his face, but her hands drop back to the scars on his arms, gloved fingers tracing over the lines from memory alone. She doesn't even realize that she's tracing their exact path, or that she's somehow committed the image of his arms to her mind. ]

But I can demand that you look after yourself. If you allow yourself to be further hurt, it is my vengeance you will need to worry yourself with.

(The thought of asking why she did this didn't even cross Diluc's mind. He's stunned just a little that it even happened to be more exact; his own heart was still pounding in response to it though the thoughts were back yet not as loud as they once were. Only part of him that wishes to be selfish like her at this point though he's not paying it any attention for now.

A cave is not the best of places for certain aspects of this. That and... he highly doubts that she'd want to do anything further in the middle of a blizzard regardless of what their feelings says.

It's why after a moment to collect himself, even as he feels her tracing along his scars which did make him wonder how quickly she even memorized them. Then again he's not quite asking much by this point as she speaks. Look after himself or worry about her being enraged, huh? Then again that's not as bad as he thought it'd go.)

... I try to anyway, even if I do work myself to the bone over it. (Though everything has risks. Between Lectors always being a possibility and whatever else the Fatui decide to throw out there too. He is however guessing she may know why he's there now because of his words without him revealing it.)

I don't expect to come out injured this time either, if you do somehow spot me. However I will likely have attention on me given both Fatui and the Abyss have labeled me as persona non grata with my antics.

(Even if it means she'll learn he's the masked vigilante, the Darklight Hero, it isn't like he doesn't trust her enough to keep quiet. She might be annoyed of course he went with such a roundabout way but... it is him after all.)

[ It's in silence that she regards him, pushing aside the rather insistent thought that she kiss him again in favor of listening, and as she slowly pieces it together, she frowns, expression serious as she puts the smallest bit of extra distance between them, eyes searching his face as if she'll somehow find the rest of the answers there. ]

...You have the same intel I do, don't you.

[ It's worded as a question, and yet the dryness in her voice makes it clear she already knows the answer.

Which leads her to wonder: how? Does he have someone inside the Knights feeding him information? Or is he in touch with some of the same shady people from whom she's sometimes gathered intel in her role as Reconnaissance Captain?

She doesn't ask that, though. As far as she's concerned, that's his business. They chose different paths, after all— his the path of the lone vigilante, hers the path of the ranked officer. When it comes to his self-described "antics", the only thing that really strikes her right now is that he'd better not get hurt further. ]

...If you find yourself overwhelmed, my own duties mean that I'm here for a while.

[ She can't offer him help, not officially, not even unofficially. But hopefully her words make it clear: if he's in trouble, she'll come to him regardless.

(It's a realization that brings a hint of pink to her cheeks, her gaze dropping briefly from his.) ]

Just be careful.

I do, yes. I came here with the intention of removing them before it worsens, part of my concerns earlier was the thought of their hydro mages happening upon us.

(He won't reveal just how he knows it. Kaeya does good work unfortunately and gets decent tips without much issue; all it costs him is a bottle of his best vintages and whatever else he gets asked for by his brother though they often times are good at their work.

Kaeya picking up where needed things just as easily as Diluc does.

This after all was how he learnt of Eroch's punishment and other things once Jean initiated her purge of corruption among the knights ranks. As well as learnt that she received a vision for her actions of working at her hardest to remove all of them from Kaeya too who had later seen her with it.

Though he did sigh, he understood perfectly that she may see him injured though likely not intentionally given circumstances. Removing them is his priority after all.

Information can come later.)

I have my ways after all. But, even if I'll be causing trouble and drawing attention... I'll be careful.

(This time however Diluc considers it a small victory they won't be dealing with a Herald or a Lector. Both of which would make things more difficult.

But, that didn't stop him from blushing, even if a little at her offer and asking him to be careful.)

... you'll know it's me there after all, though I suspect the sound of me setting them on fire would be telling enough between that and me fighting.

[ The heat in his cheeks doesn't escape her notice; unfortunately, it serves to inspire her own to return somewhat, and once again her gaze drops from his, a stubborn frown on her face. In some ways, she thinks, they're on opposite sides of the same conflict. While she wipes out Abyss operatives wherever she can, the name of her game is finding the information she needs to track them further— Diluc's vengeance, it seems, drives him in the opposite direction.

But just as she would never want him to try to change the way she handles things, she would never dare ask him to alter his.

A breath, and she makes herself look back up at him, her expression serious as she nods. ]

Okay. Good. I— [ another breath, the sound of it rushing from between her lips as she tries to find the right way to say what she's thinking ] —I have no right to ask anything else of you. I barely even have the right to ask that, but...

Thank you.

[ She's annoyed, she realizes. Not with him, but with herself. Far too easily has she walked into this trap, this fire that has scorched away the outer shell of ice that keeps her safe. And what if he gets hurt; what then? There's always going to be a part of her now that worries for him.

(It's a nice trade-off that at least for now though that said worry covers up the deeper-seated worries of being abandoned.

But that's not the point.)

She glares at him. ]

This was easier when I didn't like you.

I doubt that either of us would have realized this if it wasn't for the blizzard. That or it would have come out more slowly.

But... I don't mind that I came to like you from this despite myself, to the point I ask you to also be careful.

(And... he did seem to relax more. He'll fix his coat later, he's ironically far too comfortable to dare moving even if he feels as if he shouldn't keep himself exposed. She did earn a right to see these things and to know just how often he gets into these situations as he starts to wonder what else he can say.

He'll likely leave the operatives she needs alone.

His own business needs him to take care of their forces and it isn't as if he minds doing a favor in exchange for their discomfort. Even if he won't press her to say what way she meant, he did have a feeling in a way what she could mean.

It's why he's going over internally just how to take care of them without putting extra work out there for both of them.

He can probably pull it off somehow.)

... though... if you have any particular drinks you want me to remember for when you come by, I don't mind you telling me them. Who knows, you'll likely find it somewhere you'll least expect.

(Said reason being him, of course since he didn't mind treating her to one in exchange for really the discomfort as well.

He'll just have to take care to make note of it. Though it's not difficult since he knows Kaeya for instance prefers Dandelion Wine heavily, normally their best ones.)

[ For a moment, it feels like the conversation is about to get serious, veer back into too-real territory— which is of course entirely her fault for what she said— her cheeks flare once again when he says he doesn't mind, and she nods in mute silence when he asks her in return to be careful with what she does. After all, when she's asking the same of him, it's the very least she can do to agree.

Still, it's a relief when he moves the conversation on, because she doesn't have to dwell in the seriousness of it all for too long.

(The seriousness makes it real, reminds her over and over that she's lying here in the arms of Diluc Ragnvindr, having kissed him twice, having just admitted to liking him in some way, having already clearly confessed an attraction, and— Barbatos help her, regardless of her conflicted feelings, she's glad it's a secret because the people of Mondstadt hate her enough already without this being added to the mix.)

Clearly, the thoughts continue to plague her and nag at her even when he keeps the conversation light, moves it on to the topic of drinks. And maybe he'll see it in the way her smile is strained, the way it doesn't quite reach her eyes, or feel it in the tremble of the fingers still resting on his arms. ]

I'm particularly fond of your establishment's Berry and Mint Burst. On nights off, I just have them spike it. Strong.

[ Somehow, she's not even thinking about their opposing missions on this mountain anymore. That's something to worry about tomorrow. ]

Edited 2022-11-09 03:53 (UTC)

... I can remember that at least.

(But it doesn't change the fact he does notice her smile, her eyes. Even he felt odd having had admitted to not only it being mutual on all fronts, but, to also really being fine with them not telling anyone unless she desires to. It is their business after all that they felt this way no matter how the people of Mondstadt react or act toward them.

Even if it wouldn't sit well with him seeing them continue to act as if she's something to hate.

The least he can do is make certain she'll be fine despite it in his own ways; he's not going to expose them unless she wills it or unless something truly happens that leaves them both no choice.

Perhaps it's why he wonders if they should selfishly pretend that none of it exists for now.)

If... you'd like also, you're free to be selfish if it eases the thoughts better.

(Though he won't fault her if it goes beyond the point they're trying not to cross in a cave mind you, given having his first during a blizzard is not exactly an experience he can say he'd want to happen unless they both truly cannot stop themselves.

At the very least she knows his word and trust is worthwhile, though he is flustered a little in telling her that. He only hopes this doesn't earn him her more... angry side that he likened to angering a cat more than angering Diona herself goes.)

[ There's a second or two where a look of mortification crosses her face, her cheeks heating and a momentary panic in her eyes. ...if it eases the thoughts, he said, and she wonders: has he seen through her so easily? She hasn't once told him that kissing him shuts the thoughts up, and yet he's able to—

Unless, she realizes, it's the same for him.

Her expression softens, something like curiosity replacing the panic, just for a moment before it in turn is replaced by her trademark scowl.

She's not angry, not like he fears— but she is annoyed.

...you're free to be selfish, he says, and once again it comes down to what she wants from him, what moves she is willing for them to make. Knowing she has his consent is one thing of course, but... ]

Let's make a deal. [ Her voice is quiet, but as sharp as the blade of her sword. ] I'll tell you what I want. But you have to tell me what you want too. Both of us are adult enough to say "no" if it's too much.

[ She doesn't just want acceptance. She wants him to want, too. Beyond that, though— ]

We don't have to talk about tomorrow or anything after then, either. [ She still doesn't know what happens after this, after all, other than the fact that she'll be more of a fixture at Angel's Share, that somehow they've landed in "all" territory when they really should be in "nothing" territory, that she's going to see him again—

(it would be nice too if the next time wasn't somewhere as horribly unaccommodating as this, but with the eyes of every Mondstadter on each of them for some reason or another, maybe they don't have much of a choice)

—Regardless of all that, though, now is clear to her. ]

Is that... a deal you can agree to, Ragnvindr?

[ Last name terms again.

It's safer. ]

... I... alright...

(If it's not obvious he's genuinely not use to this either. Selfishness is one thing, selfishness with another person's consent is certainly another even with their mutual attractions, the two of them liking each other more than expected as well. But he'll likely adjust to it gradually with admitting things no matter how much he is private, no matter how use to being 'selfless' in a sense he is with his own stubbornness.

With his own mentality even.

He only finds himself wondering how much more deeper this evening may get between them; even if he himself wouldn't mind if he did get asked her just suddenly in the Winery more often too.

At least that wouldn't be as unaccommodating as a cave in the middle of Dragonspine during a nasty blizzard. Though they're both having to adjust to being out of their depth quite literally; it's why he at the very least is going to attempt not just accepting and instead voicing things more.)

... I guess for one I'd want next time to perhaps not be us trapped in the elements if lucky.

(Though he won't make her stop using his last name since it's comfort for her as much as it is him.)

Since I think I'd like to think that somewhere warmer would be better, more comfortable too for us both.

(His resonance being the way it is can be useful after all sure for these situations, but, really depending on where it goes he'd prefer them both not at risk of getting sick from it.)

Edited 2022-11-09 05:46 (UTC)

[ Think about now, she said, you don't have to worry about the future— and then he goes and says next time and her stomach does a stupid little flip. Because for as much as he's managed to avoid the question of now yet again, he's made his wishes for said next time quite clear, and that in and of itself is saying a lot. And before she can do anything about it, there's a smile playing at the corners of her lips, erasing the scowl that was there just moments before, softening her expression as she looks at him, eyes searching his face once more.

Next time. The thought is enough to get her heart pounding all over again, the bad thoughts momentarily chased away. ]

I'm tempted to agree. About it... being somewhere warmer, next time.

[ And now she's embarrassed, not really wanting to continue on, but... she's the one who started this; she can't exactly back out of it immediately, not even when he took his honesty further than she expected. ]

It's not that I'm uncomfortable like this— [ even though she was at first ] —but I think it would be nicer if we weren't fighting to stay warm.

[ Of course, that leads to the question of where, which takes her right back to that same worry with which she's been struggling this whole time— which in turn brings all of them rushing right back.

Her eyes close, and she takes a moment to try and ground herself, try and focus on the nice things he's saying, try and remember how good she felt for a moment there when he said next time. ]

What about now? ...Would I be the only one being selfish?

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