vergeltung | 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭

[ She feels like her cheeks are going to catch fire— it's too easy to imagine Kaeya telling them all about Diluc's thoughts until they're both squirming in discomfort with the red burning their faces while Amber stands there and gapes in mortification at the three of them in confusion.

But even with the heat in her cheeks and the distracting, embarrassing worries, she can't help but notice how warm he's getting once again. She reaches up, pressing her hands against his cheeks once more, trying to use her own resonance to bring his heat back to a manageable level.

She lets him talk, and he continues on, mentioning something about Kaeya maybe finding out... and she should be horrified, but she isn't.

A breath, and she shakes her head. ]

I wouldn't be surprised. He's frighteningly canny at times. It seems there's not often much that gets past him. But... you said he keeps secrets for you already, correct? We'll just have to be sure he keeps this one too.

[ Sure, they said they'd keep this a secret and everything, and she plans to stick to that but at the same time... Would it really be so bad if people knew?

She slams that thought into oblivion as quickly as it surfaces. ]

He would at least. There's things I'm keeping for him too secret, though he has far more of mine currently.

(Between the vigilante antics and really his other ventures in life from said antics. Though he's glad he survived this long with his help even if Diluc himself won't admit it or anything; the thoughts were at least kept at bay enough by their current conversation. That and really the feeling of her trying to make sure with her own resonance that he didn't near overheat again.

As horrified as he'd normally be, Kaeya is good at this.

He wouldn't judge them which also helps, he knows his brother well enough to say that much among other things. It's enough that he might notice but he can't say that he hates it as much. Perhaps the teasing would be what he dislikes but that's about it since Kaeya does take every chance to make him squirm unfortunately.

Second thought maybe he is worried a little.)

Being on the receiving end of his remarks due to it is the cost however.

(Though he did have the same thought lingering... with a quick reminder to himself that if they ever did come out about it that he'd prefer to not have it be by Kaeya or Amber's mouth's doing it.)

[ She shakes her head in response to that. Truthfully, she's not sure she quite likes the thought of being on the wrong end of Kaeya's smarmy remarks— she gets it enough being coworkers with the guy, let alone if she finds herself involved with his estranged-but-not-really brother in some way—

Then again, she thinks, looking quietly at Diluc's face, there is a pretty respectable pay-off for having to deal with it.

Her hands should be doing enough work that it's safe for her to kiss him, and so she does, the brush of her mouth over his mostly chaste, although there's a definite catch of his lower lip between hers, a tug as she pulls back once more, and the purple-yellow irises of her eyes are dancing with something teasing. ]

That's the cost, huh? Then you'd better make it worth my while, handsome.

[ Her voice is low and sweet, and perhaps for a second he'll think she herself has channeled Kaeya with her tone. But then she laughs, and she's back to herself again, albeit with that same amusement dancing in her eyes. ]

He drives me crazy most of the time already. But I can handle him.

(That... did for a brief moment shut him down mentally.

Really he feels the same way about it being worthwhile to deal with the remarks with her being the reason he's suffering through it; he's dealt with worse from Kaeya before anyway.

It couldn't stop his cheeks from getting near as red as his hair with her tone however, it especially couldn't stop him from near wondering where that came from even as he does lean in for a brief kiss of his own in response.)

... I can I think. Maybe, depends on what someone as beautiful as you are might want.

(He's trying to channel him too sounds like in his own way, low with his already deep voice before he couldn't keep at it and just shook his head grinning. Gods, he felt like he needed a bath for trying to act like his brother briefly but he didn't mind it.

Teasing at Kaeya's expense when he's not there to defend himself isn't bad.)

Believe me, he drives me insane too. I've seen him when he's drunk after all.

[ The triumph of making him color like that is short-lived. She's barely had time to enjoy it when he speaks in return. And then, her brows lift at the way his voice dips lower after that kiss, at the words he says that brim with a compliment, bringing color to her cheeks in return— for a moment she's off-guard, not entirely sure how she's going to respond; but then he laughs, shakes his head, and she relaxes, laughing too.

The man has power of which he isn't even aware, it seems. And perhaps, when they're not stranded on a mountainside in a blizzard, it's something she can work to draw out, to learn more of. For now, though, she lowers her hands from his face; despite the red in them, it seems that the laughter between them is doing enough to cool the atmosphere for now. ]

To be fair, Ragnvindr, you've seen most people in Mondstadt drunk.

[ A list which likely includes her, come to think of it. There's practically no doubt that he's been there on one of the nights that ended with her leaving someone else's bed in the small hours of the morning. It's a thought that turns her ears pink with embarrassment, her head dipping, although she says nothing.

There's nothing about it to be ashamed of, so why does she feel that way so suddenly? ]

... true, though I don't judge them. Then again the only few people who can say they've seen me drunk is Kaeya and Jean now; I mainly avoid it since personal preferences aside, I am a rather large lightweight.

(Thankfully he's not prone to judging over her partners for the night either; he's seen Kaeya's extensive attempts and 'dates' after all. Though he wouldn't mind if she did attempt to draw out of him more this side of him in general. At least for her eyes and ears alone, he doesn't just do this for anyone if he's honest.

Or really anyone before her.

Diluc however did keep his head down low during those times he was there mostly because he did think Eula could ironically do far better than some of his patrons. But the thoughts aside, he almost wondered if he should subject her to the kind of drunk he happens to be. Likely not. She might attempt to smite him since Kaeya has mentioned he gets far more clingy while calling it adorable.

He isn't certain if that's changed any.)

The only comment I'll give you for how terrible I am is that Kaeya said once that it was adorable watching me attempt to cling to him and Jean while I kept trying to fall asleep on him.

(Gods that's also embarrassing to admit. He isn't sure why but there is color back in his cheeks to a degree but without the previous heat for the time being. The lighthearted conversation seemingly helping his mind not travel to other places.

At least he's willing to give her embarrassing imagery of himself to work with despite himself for these moments.)

[ Even though she's not looking at him, a smile finds her lips when he says that he gets clingy of all things. There's something adorable about it, and although it seems out of character for what people know about him, there's also something about the idea that doesn't entirely surprise her. Her eyes drift back up to his face, and he's cute, the heat in his cheeks echoing that of his hair, and there's a soft laugh on her tongue as she presses a cool-lipped kiss to his cheek. ]

Don't fight me for saying this, but it sounds kind of cute. [ A grin lights the corners of her mouth. ] I'd be lying if I said I'm not interested in seeing you like that.

[ And strangely, there's something that relaxes her about him saying that he doesn't judge people. Especially knowing that he must have seen her arguing— and then making out— with some of the other patrons. It's enough to help her relax a little with the idea of confessing her own drunken sins, giving him embarrassment fodder too even though she's sure he already knows at least some of it: ]

As for me, I... I suppose I go the opposite. I get angry, and— [ okay this is harder to say than she thought it would be ] —I'll just say it's easy to rile me up. I'm sure that... well, I suppose you would have seen me leave the Angel's Share with people before.

[ Men most of the time... a woman once or twice. Always angry, always rough. ]

... if I did then it'd be for your eyes only, you know. (He doesn't just drink for anyone or at any time he might want to after all. The heat in his cheeks is growing though that's more at the kiss and her calling him 'cute' than anything else.)

But, don't be surprised if I'm I guess very touchy?

(For the time being there's her next comment to focus on. He's seen all of it, with the men, the women even. He always thought she didn't need to put herself down to going home with them but never understood why the thoughts struck, they rarely did with Kaeya unless the woman he chose was far more below his standards and that was more him wanting better for his brother.

Maybe he wanted better for her too.

~~Or maybe the attraction existed back then and he never once gave thought to it through his stubbornness.~~

Regardless, he did at least seem to still not judge her. It'd be hypocritical given Kaeya's own drunken antics; leaving really with any woman that seemed his type and interested often enough in him to go for a time. He's seen how Kaeya does it and has seen how he pursues often times Rosaria... though the latter case made him wonder if there's something else he's after from her.)

I did. (A small beat as he sighs.) Truthfully I'm not sure how easy it is to rile me up in that state however, I only know Kaeya said they also wouldn't let me out of sight. They didn't want someone to attempt to take advantage of it or me. (With how he is in a drunken state, he suspects it might not be difficult to get him riled up. His sleepiness likely came from other things, but, the problem is he's not certain if he'd stop with ease if he was worked up while inebriated to begin with.)

[ Even with everything she's said— and everything he confirms that he's seen, there seems to be no judgement from him, which leaves her feeling relieved, and... and there's a vague realization at the back of her mind that this is the first time in a long time that she's actually felt really, genuinely good.

(She shoves that thought down in the box, her pride wanting to focus on that as much as her mental state wants to focus on the other, more troublesome feelings of before.)

Instead, she smiles at what he says about Kaeya and Jean. As frustrating as each of them can be at times, in their own ways... ] They're good friends to you. And while I'm sure it feels to you like you're being needlessly cared for, with the vast number of admirers you have, it probably is for the best.

[ And maybe with this kind of mention, she'd be left trying to tamp down the unjustifiable anger that tries to surface once more at the thought of all the women who throw themselves at him— but this time, that's not the case, because his earlier words bolster her mood a little, leave her smile less strained and much more fond in how it frames her lips. ]

I hope they'll be prepared to let you out of their sight with me, however.

[ Despite how the words on their own might have sounded, there's nothing in her tone of voice that implies her meaning to be anything other than affectionate. In case their current situation weren't clear enough, she has no intention of taking advantage of him, anyway. ]

I doubt they wouldn't trust you anyway. Knowing them if they didn't, things would be different. Kaeya likely would just worry if it's in a public setting just as she would; however I'd rather if I'm going to drink with you for it to be I suppose more private, more personal.

(Which is about more trust than he'd ever give his admirers to begin with; he knows by now she does hate the thought of them all over her which is why he's not necessarily bringing up what the drunken admirers of his has done with attempting to get his attention. All of it a bigger disaster and mess than he'd like, often times making him recoil at the sight just about.

And why Kaeya in another reason took time aside to further educate him on bedroom behavior knowing Diluc had forced himself away from a fair amount of things. He didn't want him being used.

He hates to admit it but Kaeya cares really a lot more than he bothers to let on just as he himself does.)

Personally I never once felt comfortable with the idea of being drunk around them to begin with... not whenever I don't know what they're capable of and the fact that some of them might be sneakier than I'd like to deal with from strangers that think of me as a trophy.

(It's why for the time being with her tone shift, her relief, he's not necessarily minding letting down his guard to talk to her about this. To smile in his own case at her affections while letting her see some manner of fondness and affection from himself too.)

[ There's a slight smile at the mention of drinking somewhere more private and personal with her— despite the fact that this should be an obvious thing due to their agreement to keep things between them secret, she can't help but feel like it's a nicer comment than that, based at least on the tone of his voice, that he wants to spend time quietly with her not just because she's a secret but because he wants to be alone with her.

Like this.

She likes this more than she wants to.

She's silent, but there's a slight nod as she listens, as the topic shifts to the women who chase after him. It makes sense that he'd feel that way. After all, Amber has more than once told her that she should be careful for the same— although opposing— reason, drinking too much in public when her family is as widely loathed as it is. Who's to say someone wouldn't take advantage of it to hurt her?

Of course, she's never listened, and whether it's sheer luck, or her fierceness, or her being a ranked Knight, she's not been hurt yet— unless she counts the pain of the shame and regret the following mornings. Which of course she doesn't.

Right?

She shakes the thought off and focuses in on him again, just listening to his words. With any luck he won't notice the differing emotions playing out, the box apparently a little too full what with the way things seem to want to spill out right now. ]

(Maybe he did notice a little.

Perhaps it's why he stops, perhaps it's why with some manner of voiceless concern his warm hand again cups her cheek. Should he tell her how he felt she could have done better? He's not certain. Some other time maybe. He doesn't press her to speak what's on her mind though he leans in close for her just as a small reminder he's fine enough distracting her within their limits.

Until later.

He's never been certain on how they could just sit there and treat her that way, he's always felt some form of annoyance about it since no matter her own reputation she didn't deserve that sort of treatment. Nor the shame or regret that followed it.

Even if it's unsaid by him he doesn't dislike how fierce she is, how strong she can be as a person no matter circumstances between them.

Even without him saying it he hopes she knows as he leans in again, another kiss, but this time his own emotions were leaking into it. His own worries about if she was okay back then that he never acted on out of his own stubbornness, his own thoughts that those patrons for daring using her own inebriation as an excuse no less was people he did not dare want in there.

He hopes she understands that or can see it in some form now; even if his aloofness may not be easy to bear or deal with.)

[ For a split second, Eula is mad with herself.

It's clear from the way Diluc stops talking, lays a hand against her cheek, that he's seen the emotions play out more clearly on her face than she'd like, and her lips part to tell him that she's okay, that her brain is just being stupid, that she's enjoying— genuinely— listening to him.

But he interrupts her with a kiss, something sudden and soft, and there's something about it that's different from the kisses already shared this evening, something more tender, something sweeter that she can't quite place. There's a moment at the start of it where her eyes fly wide in shock; but they quickly sink shut once more as she finds herself melting into it again— into him. And yet unlike before, she doesn't push it further, doesn't tease him or play— she just kisses back, her fingers finding purchase on his forearms as she tugs him a little closer to her, as her lips answer his into the kiss; where he's tender, she's desperate, more than she'll ever admit.

(And later, she'll be embarrassed to recognize the way that her hands practically cling to his forearms, like he's some kind of lifeline for her.) ]

(He's not pushing it too far, even as he doesn't part for now. His arms held her closer; letting her stay with him like this for once. Letting her have more of his feelings than he ever knew he had toward all of it for her.

Maybe it's different than earlier, maybe it's not in the way he does this knowing perhaps she might not be thrilled and may move him further up on her list as she once told him too. Yet he couldn't help but do this; not whenever she was sinking again, not whenever some of this has always been things he could never bring himself to say to her. If he has to be a lifeline for now, in general, then letting out such things isn't always bad.

If she needs more of him despite a desire to wait... he thinks for once for her alone he'd make exceptions more than he ever thought he would. Something he never once thought he'd feel or think, something that part of him that argues is firmly against, yelling at him about before it's silenced by simply thoughts of her well being.

And really his own thoughts of how he should have maybe been more honest with her in the end.

Earlier even than just now.)

[ It would be easy to lose herself in him like this— especially when mere seconds into the kiss the worst of the thoughts are once again chased away as if they were never there— to let herself fall into him and while away the rest of their time in this cavern wrapped in his embrace, to hold him as her lifeline and bask into the tenderness of the kisses and how they make her feel. And it's tempting, so tempting to do so.

But she made herself a promise— she made him a promise, and it's that promise that has her break the kiss after a while, and despite herself she lingers close, her breath short and warm against his lips, her eyes soft and questioning on his, her fingers tight in the material of his shirt sleeves.

It's hard to catch her breath. ]

Diluc. [ Her voice is soft, shaky. ] We... we made a promise about this, didn't we? You deserve better than this.

[ It may seem weird to bring up over a kiss, but with how fast her heart is beating she fears that she might struggle to pull away from him, if it comes to that. ]

I know... (And yet, his own murmur of it is soft in response, breathless.) I... whenever I got to thinking of it... even after noticing that look on your face...

(There's a beat. He's trying to collect his thoughts, his emotions being so vivid on this weren't helping.)

... I thought to myself if I'm giving you all of me... even with the promise... even if it happens early despite our word given... I don't want to make you feel the way they likely did.

(And... he does trust her. It's difficult, his own softness and emotions were evident just as he finds himself unable to take his eyes off her. His hearts pounding, the heat wasn't unbearable but it's there too with her in his embrace. His issues with trust are always going to be there, but for once with all of it he feels as if he can genuinely trust her.

That's why he did kiss her the way he did no matter how conflicted he himself has been with his own distractions, his own feelings.)

... I didn't like seeing it either, the way they spoke to you and behaved. I didn't judge you, I judged them for doing that.

(Maybe not the full admission that she could have done better than them, but it's close enough to the complete truth since he did always feel that way with what they were doing.)

[ Her head feels like it's spinning. Between the kisses and the multitude of secrets and confessions shared between them, everything feels like it's moving so fast. At the start of their time here, they were strangers— and now she knows for a fact she can't say that anymore. It's confusing, conflicting, strange in so many ways; it ties knots in her stomach and makes it hard to speak as she looks at him, as her ears ache with the kindness of his words. ]

I... [ She shakes her head, the emotions clearly playing out across her face. ] I don't know what to say.

[ How could he not judge her? In those situations, she was just as much of an aggressor as those drunkards who hated her for what she was. Drunk and fiery, she hated them for hating her, a vicious cycle that perpetuated itself into something violently physical. In her own eyes, she was as bad as they were, in her own way. And yet...

And also. It takes a moment in the heat of it all, but she realizes belatedly what he's said, and her eyes soften, her hands grip harder at his forearms. ]

You don't make me feel that way. [ The words are a whisper, a heat coming into her cheeks as she looks at him. She doesn't think she can put into words the way he does make her feel, not right now, but it's not... it's not like that. ] This isn't like that.

[ And she leans forward to close the gap again, what little of it there was, the kiss soft still tinged with that desperation she feels, her hands lifting to grip at the material of his vest instead, giving her more purchase to pull him a little closer to her even as she tries somehow (and fails greatly) to keep things as chaste as possible. ]

(Conflicting, confusing, even he wonders just what he was thinking saying this in their brief time apart. He could have blamed her for their words but he didn't. Drunk and fiery she was, he didn't judge her for her reactions, judge her for what she said, what she did even. He didn't find need of it; vicious cycle or not he always considered her the victim to their actions of provoking her as they saw fit when she were there.

It honestly made his blood boil nearly at the thought of them trying again in general when she's just there to see him.

Yet he's forcing himself to focus on her, the way she's grabbed on to him and really the way that they're both being a mess in a literal sense. Both of them uncertain on how to remotely feel or to speak of this even but he's not going to try and figure out things more knowing he's not in any shape to do it.

The thoughts soon enough at feeling her tug him closer at his half open vest fade, his lips against hers with the tenderness he had earlier. The fire filled tenderness he thinks he should have shown her originally but even that shortly faded by how close he has her in his arms, how close he is to her no less.

Gods above he's certain that whatever this is, he never thinks he can go back to how things once were between them.)

[ Her breath is somehow soft and harsh at the same time against his mouth, and any break she makes in their kiss for air is quickly closed again as she focuses on him and him alone, the only interrupting thought one that reminds her to be good whenever her hands get the urge to wander, whenever her lips have the desire to deepen their kiss.

Embarrassingly, it's a thought that needs to interrupt quite frequently. The truth is, she shouldn't even be tempting her attraction to him like this, shouldn't be pressing the matter when it's so dangerous for her to do so— but there's a small part of her that feels like his words might otherwise bring tears to her eyes, and that's something she can't have, regardless of how much she trusts him with any of this.

Eula Lawrence doesn't cry, after all. It's that simple.

So it's easier for her to focus on this, on him, even as she threatens to drown in the soft tenderness of his kisses.

A vague, wandering thought reminds her that she probably she be vengeful toward him for this, for somehow making himself important enough to her that his opinion can make her emotions so mixed up, and also for becoming the grounding lifeline she needs and wants when that happens. It's honestly terribly unfair of him. ]

(Reminding himself to be 'good' is a bit harder but manageable, his own breathing getting somewhat harsher with the breaks yet still warm enough throughout it. He's considering it somewhat lucky that he's not daring to move aside from near drowning with her in it. It almost makes him wonder how often it happened even if the thought for the time being is shelved currently.

Nothing that he'd dare ask anyway.

Seeing her like this didn't help much with his own attraction involving his old self, the side of him that he would have thought gone with how closed off he became in those three years resurfaced, felt foreign to him even as it came back to a degree.

He's still not certain how she did it but she did.

Whether it be they drown or not it isn't as if he didn't expect her vengeance for going this far to do something for a change. If anything Diluc was fully expecting after this to be in more trouble in her eyes; unfair or not perhaps to her, that's how he always has been. Beneath his stoicism that is knowing that some parts of him simply never faded away no matter how he thought himself. It all just seemed to be dormant.

The consequences can be dealt with later, whatever consequences she chooses to give him in the end.)

[ With each breath that washes onto her lips, the ability to focus gets further and further away. Before long, it's all she can do not to just pull him to her, to encourage him past the point of no return despite promising both of them she wouldn't. It's his fault, of course, with his heated breath and sweet kisses, with the warm firmness of the arms holding her, with whatever it is that has her mouth rushing back to his every time she tries to break the kiss to clear her head. For as chaste as she's trying to keep it, her heart is pounding in her chest, her stomach is tying itself in knots and she's not sure how much longer she can keep this up.

In the end, the only thing she can do is what she's already done once tonight: her hands flatten against his chest and push, forcing space between them, although he'll see easily from the dazed, blown-out look of her eyes and the swollen pink of her lips that she really, really didn't want to. Her breath is short and quick, and her fingers stay splayed on his chest, arms tense as if ready to push if he tries to kiss her again.

She doesn't think she's ever wanted someone quite so much.

Eula shakes her head, not trusting her words to say what they need to right now. ]

(Thankfully he didn't press it further.

He's not moving beyond what he did even if the temptation is there, but no matter how much he couldn't help himself by acting on the feeling he didn't want to break that promise either. It's not something they made lightly though he did say he gave consent enough for it to happen; it's harder to think now without the temptation gnawing at him with his current thoughts.

Diluc hadn't expected to push her into a daze however.

That's part of why he isn't daring to move, holding her for the time being is enough no matter his thoughts or how much he feels he might want to. Something he never once thought he'd feel toward really anyone involving his current state much less his current thoughts of wondering what he's in for now.

He did want her too, a lot more badly than he ever would admit to anyone.

That's why he chooses for now to be silent as they pull together; his own breathing starting to get back to normal with some manner of softness still twinkling in those harsh scarlet flames he calls eyes. He won't dare mention anything for the time being knowing he may have perhaps earned whatever she's thinking of doing to him later.

By now anyway he's certain that if she does want some manner of vengeance that he'd expect it later to happen. If she chooses to take it on him.)

[ When he stills, there's practically a sigh of relief, even if her eyes are still somewhat glazed over as she looks at him. ]

Thank you.

[ Despite all the thoughts of vengeance, when it comes time to say anything at all, those are the only words that will fall from her lips, still parted to let through the soft, short breaths as her heartbeat slows gradually to its normal speed. And so she's not tempted again, she moves to rest her head on his shoulder instead, her eyes closing, her breathing evening out too in the same slow but sure manner.

Why is she thanking him, exactly? Even Eula isn't sure. All she knows is that it felt right to do so, the same way that sitting here in the circle of his arms has come to feel normal in some way.

It helps that the urge to cry has passed.

She sits like that in silence for a few moments, arms falling to wrap around his waist once more, before she feels steady enough to talk, her voice soft: ]

I think you might officially have just passed Amber on the scale of grievances.

... I'll take that as a compliment.

(As close to one as he can get at this point.

Holding her like this isn't bad to begin with as tempting as everything is, with his head for the time being near hers with how she's resting against his shoulder. There's no manner of complaints from him or no other comments after taking her thanks even and really her mention of him passing Amber suddenly.

He's not certain how far that pushes him but he likely is going to wind up on a different list is his current thought floating around on it with the rate he's gone up on her 'vengeance list'.

His warmth is still there. Not on the level as he'd have it were he to be pushed gradually past the point of no return but it is in fact there to wrap her up in it like this.

They both have in this evening dealt with more than expected with how their perspectives shifted; he's not sure on how he's going to keep things hidden involving his attraction but he'll figure out something. He thinks, he hopes anyway.)

... I'm not sure how much it eased or what time it is currently.

(Since he noticed the howl didn't seem as powerful as before. If anything he can prepare to head out soon and expect to be tired on shift at the Angel's Share later on if he doesn't manage to sleep any after all this and the trek down once he's done with his clean up.)

[ If he's listening carefully enough, he'll hear her scoff, mutter something about "how dare you" into his shoulder; other than that, though, Eula sits there in silence for a while, content just to rest against him in such a way. In fact, it's not until he speaks once more that she reacts in some actual way, sitting up to look with bleary eyes— apparently she started dozing in the short time she's been resting on him— at the entry of the cave. ]

It looks better out there. Sounds it, too.

[ Is that something like regret in her voice? There's something in the strain of it, in the way she drops her gaze away from the blizzard and back to his shoulder. ]

I doubt it will be long before we're safe to go our separate ways.

[ Which is a good thing, isn't it? It's meant to be a good thing. From the start, neither of them was planning to spend the night holed up in a cave against a blizzard. (Never mind every other thing that has happened since then, apparently changing her mind on the matter.) They had plans, things they each had to do. ]

𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭

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