vergeltung | 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭

(Feud? That raises a brow, they have a feud? He thought as far as his feuds goes it lies with Fatui and the Order; not with whatever it is that Eula felt he has done to wrong her if anything. Though he's not necessarily questioning it further as he resists the urge to shudder at the feeling of her laughing over his throat. His neck being discovered to be a sensitive spot, by him as well just now at that, won't go over well.

Though somehow the thought of him having to keep on his toes more due to her not being far behind him isn't necessarily a bad thing. Somehow this ironically made sneaking around to get into position as the Darklight Hero without notice all the more entertaining in general... gods he sounds like Kaeya there, he'd rather stick his head into burning lava than sound like him.

But he's hoping that he's not spotted in his own mission. His objectives are the same and if she were to discover that it'd get far more worse knowing the possibility of his identity leaking if she were to decide to do it. He'll have to be far more careful.)

So, shall I take this to mean that I should prepare a seat for you at the Angel's Share more frequently if any? (A pause.) Or should I prepare for unexpected visits at the Winery? (Unlike Kaeya's own, (he hated to admit this also), hers would be far more welcomed though he's attempting to keep it hidden as he normally does.

So far it seems to be working since it isn't like she'll notice any changes in his demeanor or expression.)

Though I'd welcome the visits there at the Angel's Share, only if you promise to remove Kaeya from there since he frequently visits to avoid his duties.

(He is in fact going to be petty. Within reason of course.)

[ Another laugh, which isn't exactly the most ideal thing for him, even though she doesn't know that. At this point, perhaps the only way to make it easier for him is for her to pull away— and yet the cold still coursing too-powerfully through her veins, active despite his heat surrounding and holding her, means that she's not likely to do that anytime soon, despite her own marked discomfort. ]

I'll agree to that deal. [ After all, while the Cavalry Captain is no longer as high on her list of vengeance as Diluc is, the effect in this case is somewhat opposite of what someone might otherwise expect. Of course, it helps that she is part of the same organization as Kaeya, meaning she has a reason to be frustrated by any avoidance of his duties. Being in separate areas, it's not that it creates extra work for her, not really, but it's the principle of the thing.

Everyone knows that Eula is big on principles. ]

Besides, if anyone is liable to make too much noise about my surveilling you, it will be Captain Alberich. I would also rather him not be there.

[ They have, after all, already discussed why neither of them wants any of this getting out. And while the same physical closeness would hardly occur at the Angel's Share of all places, Eula's more frequent presence would be enough to draw unwanted attention, if they're not careful. ]

(Strangely easy enough. He can't say that he minds it however, the chance of being able to get a break from dealing with his estranged brother is more than welcomed. Really he'd have not mentioned it had Kaeya not used the bar to avoid doing anything more than drinking, flirting, and then leaving with whatever woman he chose for the evening with poetry in his voice and tones whilst flirting. It only served to agitate him that he did that.

His own discomfort aside due to her accidentally finding a sensitive spot on him, he'll have to remember that she'll be there more often. He may not know what she drinks typically but he does know that he should be ready for any sort of thing to happen from her decision to watch his movements closely.

Part of him wondered how she'd react to learning he's near died on multiple occasions now. Better yet, she might near wring his neck at learning that his earlier statement of refusing to stay down when attacked stemmed from almost dying. Perhaps for the best she hasn't uncovered his arm scars yet or caught wind of the others on him.)

That's normal sadly for him. I've seen him on occasion also attempt to flirt with Sister Rosaria too since she also frequents the bar; I suppose that however isn't a surprise since she always is caught smoking outside the Cathedral much to the dismay of the other sisters and Barbara.

(And Diluc had a feeling she knows about his late night activities based off how she stares at him.)

Edited 2022-11-05 05:50 (UTC)

[ The comment is met with yet another soft peal of laughter, and Eula shakes her head. Admittedly, she's a little annoyed: there aren't many people who can make her laugh easily, and yet right now it seems like she can't stop laughing. It's easy enough to blame it on the numbness the cold has created through her body, even if that makes no logical sense, and yet she still can't help but file it away as another point against Diluc Ragnvindr, as if somehow the whole thing is entirely his fault. ]

Sister Rosaria, hm? While I am entirely sure she can handle herself, I can't help but feel a little sorry for her.

[ Of course, it's not that Kaeya isn't an attractive man— quite the contrary, really. But his general attitude toward everything works against him, as far as Eula's concerned; the irritating parts of his personality shine through too clearly for attraction to be an issue for long. ]

I have been on that side of his attentions myself... for all his reputation, though, he was surprisingly easy to frighten off.

[ Is that a hint of bitterness in her voice at the end there? She would deny it if asked, of course, but the water that flows under the ice cage of her heart is more bothered than she would like. After all, it always comes down to the same thing, doesn't it? ]

Although I can hardly blame him, what with my own reputation.

(There's a frown. He knows Kaeya, he hates saying it perhaps sure but he knows his estranged sibling well. Reputation doesn't stop him. The only thing that does stop him is quite literally a nice threat to either his family jewels, his face, or really him being given obvious hints his target for his romantic endeavors is about to get violent or mouthy at him over his unwelcome advances. For him to stop easily there had to be other factors in mind.

He may hate admitting these things sure, but, that didn't stop him from sighing about it in a choice to reluctantly defend his brother just a little. Diluc hates it but he might as well unfortunately.)

... Kaeya ironically doesn't care for reputation, however he does care for well placed threats and hints being given directly in front of his face. Knowing him he'll likely try again when you least expect it.

(After all, he's hit multiple times on Rosaria and only paused when she made it clear she was not in the mood. Whenever her mood was somewhat better the next day however that was another story; though this did not stop Diluc from hating every second of it knowing that he was trying to use his bar for 'dates' instead of either leaving or doing his duties.

It really did get more agitating than he cared to let on but there's not much he can say or do there. Kaeya does whatever he pleases and that simply meant he had to grit his teeth and bear with it even if he didn't want to.)

And don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning his actions, I've just see how often he flirts. He stops if he knows he won't get anywhere there or if whoever he's pursuing isn't in the mood.

Rosaria made him learn that lesson harshly at one point and I still don't think I found all the glass from that bottle she broke to prove her point.

(Though his tone had a hint of irritation one may chalk up to his brothers antics... for some reason the thought of him flirting with her was starting to get under his skin a little. He's just going to be glad that she wouldn't notice it though he has no idea how to feel about it.

Eula isn't even romantically involved with him so why would he feel like this? Not that Diluc could answer it or cared to find out yet.)

[ The statement makes her brows raise, and leaves her cheeks hot, and for a moment or two she thinks maybe she should defend herself, explain that she wasn't actually upset by Kaeya being easily scared off, and quite frankly how dare Diluc for thinking as much— and worse, going so far as to comfort her—

She says nothing further on the topic, though; instead she just frowns again, holding her tongue and her frustration alike in the hopes both will simmer away. Still, she mentally adds another black mark to Diluc's quickly-growing tally.

(He should be careful, she thinks; at this rate he's going to be causing more trouble for himself with her than even the Traveler has...)

When she does speak again, the topic is brought slightly askew, a response to the irritation in his voice— and how could she blame him for that? It must be incredibly frustrating to try doing business with someone constantly driving away your customers with their flirtatious attitude. ]

If he is truly that much of an annoyance, then it will be doubly my pleasure to remove him from your establishment. And if he proves to be too difficult, I have no doubt that Sister Rosaria would be all too glad to assist also.

[ A slight smile sneaks into her voice as she says it, followed by a chuckle on her lips at the thought of teaming up with the other tall, ice cold woman in the name of tossing Mondstadt's most notorious flirt out into the night-lit street. On his ass. ]

(Though it was more he was saying it to explain sadly his brothers antics, not to comfort her, he did not know what he caused nor did he know what was going through her head about the subject. He's more or less bringing to light how Kaeya is even if he dislikes all of it. His flirting still remains the worst he's dealt with and annoys himself greatly though the underlying thought is still lingering.

He'll just have to avoid her learning that the thought of his brother flirting with her has irritated him further. But it did make him blink for a brief moment that she is planning to recruit Rosaria's assistance if it comes down to it in an attempt of removing really his problem in the form of Kaeya's mouth. That caught him off guard.

It's a good thing probably she won't say much about Diluc's other activities or so he assumes in Rosaria's case. Then again he even keeps quiet on her own with the number of times the two of them did ironically assist one another with cleaning up the streets under the noses of everyone... often times thanks to that he did send her vintages she'd like in secret.)

And I'll thank you for that, both of you really. I do think she gets as tired of it but doesn't say anything since she's attempting to simply unwind for the evening.

(This being of course before she goes out hunting down whoever she's pursuing for the night if not multiple people she's uncovered she wants to take care of.)

Of course. And shouldn't everyone be allowed to enjoy a night unwinding in peace and quiet?

[ Perhaps there's something ironic in the statement, given that she figures— based on how long it's been sitting here with him— that night has fallen, and yet neither of them is getting any real peace and quiet, what with the blizzard having forced them to be so much in each other's space. Worse still is the fact that she's come to find herself quite comfortable in his arms, despite him holding her as he would a lover, despite her face being pressed into his neck the way she imagines some shy, flighty thing would with a protector.

She does not want to think about what that means, or why she's feeling the way she is. Which means... more conversation is needed, right? If they're not talking, she'll be stuck inside her thoughts, and that's not where she wants to be right now.

The problem, of course, is that neither of them is a particularly strong conversationalist.

She sighs.

If she can't keep the conversation light, she can at least talk about something important: ]

...We have to sleep at some point.

[ She regrets the words the second they leave her mouth, and it's enough for the sentence to stop there, abruptly, even though her tone indicates that there was more originally planned for her to say. ]

(Even as he lays there, his mind starts to wander again. In the end it feels all the more inevitable that she would show up whenever he's working the bar yet he's not certain on if someone may notice his change in demeanor if he does keep his unwelcome presence there longer than necessary. His thoughts currently weren't helping any of it with going back and forth on wondering how far they may perhaps push their boundaries. He did not see her as someone to be protected thankfully.

No, he saw her as herself. Eula Lawrence who pushes herself beyond her limits all to carry the weight of her actions and wish on her shoulders; if anything he feels as if he looks nothing like the picture he paints of himself to the eyes of others currently. The uncrowned monarch, untouchable by many, desired by many even. But that seems forgotten in this moment between them.

The growing thoughts of a man starving for affection, love even, aside, he's racking his brain in an attempt to help. He is never one for idle chatter unless it's dragged out of him from his old self; which does little to stop him from feeling as if he's growing more frustrated between this and thoughts of Kaeya flirting with her in front of him.

Again, he curses his luck, he curses his brother, and he especially curses that side of him that he neglects to drive himself further and further into his work, into the ground.

All because of him... all because of her.)

... I can try to keep watch instead unless you want to like this.

(He won't press her on it, he didn't think he can sleep in this state to begin with so he'll force himself to focus on the outside blizzard in an attempt to clear his thoughts.

He'll notice anyway if something gets too close for comfort.)

[ The comment he makes is enough for her to unwind her arms from around him, to use the flat of his chest for leverage to push herself back— because she needs to push; her body refuses to cooperate with the idea of her pulling away— forming enough distance between them that she can frown at him even as a full-body shudder works its way through her, the cold instantly filling the space— and her.

The purple-yellow of her eyes search the deep red of his even as she shakes her head, her displeasure making itself clear on her face. ]

Anything sufficiently dangerous would have to survive the blizzard before even finding us, Ragnvindr. If you want to keep watch, do it from here, where it's warmer.

[ The entire truth of it— that she would right now sooner stay warm than have her safety guaranteed— is a secret kept between her lips. And as for the thoughts which surface, that she's enjoying the closeness, she stifles those before they can even get far enough to consider.

Damn him for making her weak. ]

We both should try to get some kind of rest, anyway. So what if we take shifts?

[ Being conscious at all isn't an entirely thrilling thought right now when she would much rather pass out and forget every single little thing that has happened this evening. But despite the hazard of the storm outside, all her training and knowledge tells her that he's right, that at least one of them should be awake at all times—

As long as it's from here, so she can stay warm. ]

... that's my point, I would stay near then since I'm the one capable of providing greater warmth however, there is still beasts capable of surviving the blizzards in Dragonspine. And no I am not claiming that you have to force yourself to part over it given it's at a point for us we'd freeze to death.

(And he's being truthful about it despite him also hating the fact that she forced some form of distance due to that side of him wanting her to stay in his arms. He's trying to not show he's getting cold from the distance himself but it is getting apparent his resonance would not help him alone the further this gets dragged out.

Though he'd hate to see what can outlast a blizzard amongst the wildlife in Dragonspine if any still exists currently out there. Better yet if it turned out to be an Abyss Mage then there would in deeper trouble... especially if it's one of their hydro infused ones. He'd have not been able to life a finger for the two of them without it near killing him again; though being the one frozen to a point instead of her would be fine with him.

He can handle being sick for a change despite himself.)

I can handle the first shift, I don't know what can survive this but the elements themselves are often times capable of producing really anything far more dangerous than usual. I've seen Ruin Guards after all that were abnormal here before...

(And he's not going to mention he's fought them too. All she has to know is that he's seen them, though the risk of her finding out anything deeper remains too. He can at least keep her warm in his sleep after to give her opportunity to rest first.

He isn't certain if he can fall asleep to begin with involving the way his thoughts were trailing back and forth. He'd have to hope that if they wind up in compromising positions he can explain himself knowing he is not the type to do so willingly.)

I'm more worried about the possibility of one of them finding us if not anything worse showing itself. (And as part of his unsaid point which he thought of earlier, Hydro Mages. Really anything still living and capable of that is enough to make him wary knowing the risks of much worse that can happen.)

...Mm.

[ She tries not to bristle too much at the way he speaks, knowing by now this is just who he is and not a slight against her, even if her own experiences mean that she can't help but want to interpret it that way. It doesn't help that she's already shivering again, because the closeness was driving her crazy in other ways and she's not sure how much longer she can handle it for—

But if she's asleep, that will help, surely.

She nods. ]

At least Ruin Guards and their ilk are more likely to guard from a stationary position than come hunting for us. But I understand your point.

[ With that said, she moves to lie down, and there's a sharp hiss from between her lips when her back touches the cold stone even through the material of their combined bed rolls; another shudder runs through her, its strength making it visible despite her best efforts to conceal it, and she curls up tighter against herself, drinking in as much of his warmth as she can from here without needing to practically lie on him. ]

Wake me after four hours.

[ Her tone is sharp, colder than it should be by rights, given how long they have sat here talking. Yet that strange need to protect herself has resurfaced, freezing a cage around her the moment she forced herself further away from his warmth. ]

And if you need to move to get more comfortable, do so now. If you wake me early, the vengeance visited on you will not be pleasant.

[ With that said, she closes her eyes, willing sleep to come. ]

(Though he did move just close enough to enable her to get more from his resonance, he said nothing more and laid still with his eyes focusing on outside the cave. His back is turned to her this time to enable him to focus without distraction or so he hopes despite the thoughts driving him insane; he can ignore them like this and he supposed that this also allows her to not have to look much at him too.

A quiet sigh to himself later, this is going to be a long four hours but he knew he can't sleep easily like this. The Gravestone was firmly planted near by him too in case if he had to be up quickly though he suspected that he may not have to be as worried. Really the suggestion was so that he can give himself time to think up excuses to give Kaeya later if absolutely necessary.

He knew he'd be all over something like this.

So Diluc for now would take the lonely yet quiet vigil as he always has. She made it obvious by how she forced herself apart from him in her tone and in the way she reacted. He'll do as he set out to do and simply keep quiet about all of it then in the end without a second thought even if he did have to wonder if she'd ever let that cage melt to himself.

... not even long after that he shook the thought off immediately. He really shouldn't allow himself to think this way knowing that the two of them have no reason to dare think of one another in such ways.)

...

(Now to figure out how he can pass the time while laying there to stay awake with since even his mind could start to grow tired enough the thoughts would seem distant.)

[ The worst part of it all is that despite having just told him she was going to sleep... Eula can't sleep. For the better part of an hour, she lies there, unmoving, her eyes shut and her breathing even, as if the stillness will work a kind of magic and lull her to sleep.

It doesn't.

Rather, her head spends the time sorting through those same thoughts that she's already shoved away, thoughts on which she would rather not focus, thoughts too soft and weak for her liking, the exact kind of wonderings that made her want to retreat into unconsciousness in the first place, wonderings made more of water than ice.

His fault, she decides, the thought bitter as it passes; only through fire can ice melt, after all. But deep down, she knows that's not true, no matter how loathe she is to admit it, no matter how instantly she tries to reject the thought as it surfaces.

She's lonely, that's all. She's been lonely for quite some time now.

That's just how it is, being an outcast not only from society, but from one's own family. And it's not like she does anything to help matters; she prefers it like this— at least that's what she tells herself, even now— it makes it easier to pursue the vengeance she seeks.

Or is it the other way around— is her "vengeance" just another tool to keep people at a distance?

Keeping her from getting hurt.

Fall asleep, damnit.

She sighs, the sound sudden in the near-silent interior of the cave, an obvious contrast from the roaring storm outside. And then her cheeks heat, her body tensing.

With any luck, Diluc will just think it's a sound made in her sleep, and not the stupid existential crisis it apparently really is. ]

(He's only half paying attention thankfully for her. He isn't paying her any attention to be more specific however with him silently staring off into space as if trying to will himself into pushing her presence out of his mind; the thoughts still were there to his immense displeasure. Thoughts of holding her, thoughts of her lips, thoughts of how much he'd hate to see his estranged brother flirting with her.

He hates it.

His heats growing more at the third thought but he forced himself to control himself again knowing that she would not be happy if he wakes her this soon. His emotions are in turmoil. The thought of her piercing through his well crafted walls only made them attempt to thicken despite the wish of his love deprived heart begging him to pursue this further knowing she did not view him the way his suitors might.

He hates all of it.

This isn't something he should be, he needed to force himself away from her yet his tiredness from the loneliness is resurfacing. He's always forced himself at arms length. To be alone was simply part of his life's work and something he always had to accept no matter circumstances presented before him.

With any luck she may not be disturbed and realize that his heats going back and forth from the thoughts agitating him. From really all of it agitating him in general.

...

Curse these thoughts. Diluc really did not want her to see through him or to learn just what is running through his head in such ways.)

[ No doubt if she were asleep, she wouldn't notice the fluctuating temperature coming from the back pressed up against hers— but she's not asleep, that's the whole damn problem.

For a moment, she thinks to just ignore it— after all, he doesn't seem to have noticed the sigh, doesn't seem to be aware that she's awake, and she still has hours left of her rest; she should try to use it, try to get even some small amount of sleep— ]

Ragnvindr. Is everything alright?

[ She addresses him before she even realizes she's made a decision, and her eyes close in frustration at herself; she's pretty sure there's a headache forming behind her brows even as she speaks. But her tone, at least, if he listens to it, is even, with no anger directed at him.

(No, right now the only anger she has is directed at her own foolish, traitorous thoughts.) ]

If you are getting cold, we can move until you're comfortable again.

[ That, after all, is the only guess she can make at the sudden changes in his body temperature— although if he has the strength to force himself to warm up, she'll be impressed. She's never heard of such a thing. But not knowing what's going on in his mind, it's the only thought she has. ]

...

(He isn't awake alone after all, again he sighs about it. He didn't detect anger in her tone and yet he's rubbing his temples; this is suppose to be his attempt at forcing some form of distance and yet it's failing.

He was suppose to come up with an excuse for later to hide all of this and yet the thoughts were not going his way either. Perhaps it's why he gave up just a little for once.)

... just more annoyed at myself.

(Answering the specifics of it is not on his agenda but there's no use hiding that part of it. He isn't sure if he could even tell her why he's annoyed at himself without her being upset.

So he'll give her this much without offering the full extent of his thoughts that are pertaining to her now. She didn't have to know or so he thinks.

He'll just attempt to keep it to himself unless she somehow manages to without realizing make him talk about it. Though that would more be a feat from what he's noticed of the way the two of them act; a feat for the ages that she managed to make Diluc Ragnvindr as he is now speak his mind without hiding it.)

Annoyed? At yourself?

[ Eula can't help it; she laughs again, the sound more of a chuckle in the blackness of the cave. There's nothing derisive about it, though, nothing meant to offend— although if he feels offended by it is another matter entirely— and if it wasn't clear, the words that follow it in the next beat make it more immediately obvious: ]

Well. That makes two of us, then.

[ With another sigh, she twists in the bedroll, turning to face his back— it's a terrifying gesture, if she's honest, but with him still turned away from her, it feels safer, somehow. (Not that any of this is even remotely safe. Her brain, every instinct she has, is screaming at her to turn away once more, to mind her own business, to stay out of it—) ]

We're sworn to secrecy, aren't we? So if you want to talk about it, I'll listen.

[ Is it selfish to offer help to someone on the grounds that it will help you keep your mind off your own problems? Probably.

But right now, Eula is desperate. ]

... it's mainly pertaining to thoughts that keep striking me, though I'm not sure if I should mention it.

(Doing so would break that peace there is. Their problems now at this point were similar in that regard as he starts to wonder just how to go about this without causing her to realize it might potentially be about her. It's harder than he likes. He's not necessarily going to enjoy being the cause of a greater issue if it comes out.

Yet he's currently having a certain side of him flaring as if demanding he stop lying to himself, stop fooling himself in general by now with how it was going. But he won't. Not unless something made him say it. It's enough to make him wonder just how far he's lost his mind to dare think of this or really anything to do with her in such ways.

But... despite it he'd stare once more at the blizzard outside. She can't see his reactions which helps he thinks with this further.)

I'll be at most honest with this. This is nothing I'm use to, something I've always denied myself of to work myself to the bone for my objectives. I tell myself often times I don't need it, I'm not Kaeya in that regard, so I don't need it.

(By the pause it's getting uncomfortable for him to admit and yet...)

... it just reminds me of the fact I've chose to give up so much yet a part of me still screams out against my thoughts and judgment. I mentioned Kaeya knows the greater extent of what was done to my body, yes, but that's because he had to help me.

(And he didn't trust himself with others, he could ignore Kaeya's touch as much as he can ignore his own with patching up his own body. His eyes were closed, but he's forcing himself to not bring her into it fully.)

... though I feel foolish even now for talking about it.

[ Her eyebrows raise in response to the statement, and there's a weird knot in the pit of her stomach as her brain latches onto the words, and for a moment she's sure that she feels her heart speed up— although that's honestly just the cold, she tells herself, even as her brain keeps revisiting it. His thoughts, like hers, are wandering, and the way he speaks of it makes it sound like—

I'm not Kaeya in that regard

—Oh. It is.

While he may be avoiding saying it exactly, the way he moves from one topic to the next makes it clear to her, and that's bad because it brings all her own thoughts about their closeness rushing right back. The desire to reach for him is very sudden, very real, and it practically takes her physically holding her hand against her chest to avoid caving to it.

And while her body is aching to reach out, her usual defensive shell is insisting that she pretend to have successfully fallen asleep, or even to hit him and tell him that he's no better than his scumbag of a brother. But those options are just as bad in their own way— and far less honest than he deserves for having been as open with her as he has been just now.

She takes a deep, shaky breath. ]

It is just the cold, Ragnvindr. [ Despite the forced formality in her words, her voice cracks over it, a strange earnestness in her tone unlike any that anyone has heard from her; it's clear that she's trying to convince him as well as herself at this point, even as she presses on. ] When the air is as dangerous as it is now, it is only natural for our thoughts to move toward things that will help to warm us further.

(The sigh he heaves is heavy. None of it felt as if it were the cold, it felt as if they were trying to convince one another they were better than this. They didn't need it. The cold is the cause of it yet it keeps hitting no matter how often he just tells himself that. He isn't Kaeya is right because Kaeya likely would not be sitting there if he felt a certain way to begin with. He would be acting on it which Diluc couldn't stomach doing because she wouldn't like it or enjoy it.

It's part of why he just stares again, now out to the blizzard once his scarlet eyes open once more. His gut hates this feeling and yet... he still cannot make himself ignore it which is why he wonders how much of a fool he is for telling her.)

I don't know how true that is at this point. Because I can try to force the thoughts away and they've stayed. (And it's not wrong. He's always done that with forcing these thoughts done yet it still remains clear as day there. He wants to say it's because they swore to secrecy but it's not the case. If he told her that he kept thinking of Kaeya flirting with her then she might not enjoy that either.) I'm serious that I dislike the thought of doing things the way he does you know.

I don't want to use someone's potential feelings toward me the way he does it.

As strange as it is for me to admit after saying just earlier I force it all down... it's really the principle of these things for me, if I go that far I want it to be something deeper not something for the night and that's that.

(Somehow he's glad he's not looking at her while he admits this further. His cheeks reddening at the thought of them isn't going to help him either. But, he did feel he had to explain himself just enough in that regard involving his perspective.

Diluc may perhaps be many things, as well as someone she has on her 'vengeance' list sure, but he held no desire to go that low with someone's heart in general.)

Because I don't want to play with anyone's heart... freezing cold or not. (An awkward beat.) ... and I'd hate to take something that precious for granted to begin with.

[ Another twist in her stomach. He doesn't know how true it is? What exactly is he saying? Surely he doesn't think himself genuinely attracted to her. Only an idiot would allow that of themselves, especially one like himself in the upper echelons of Mondstadt's society. She's a Lawrence, she's tainted by her family's blood, and—

The color drains from her face as quickly as it filled it, and Eula puts a steadying hand to her head. No. She's the idiot. It's clear that Diluc meant in general, not with her.

Of course.

She swallows hard against something that feels remarkably like disappointment; her lips part, trying to find some kind of answer, something to say that doesn't sound as pathetic as she feels while still making herself clear, still expressing that it's okay for him to handle things the way he does—

(An urge to comfort, something she's sure she's never quite felt before)

—but he keeps talking, and her eyes widen, and once again the color rushes to her face. ]

What?

[ She said that out loud, didn't she? There's an internal wince, another swallow against the feeling in her throat— so suddenly something more like fear— and a deep breath, her hand scrabbling to wrap around her Vision as if somehow it will help her summon up the ice she needs to protect against her feelings.

How did feelings even come into this?

(It's the cold. It's just the cold.) ]

Ragnvindr. I'm... [ another breath ] I'm hardly precious, so I would thank you to stop treating me as such. Nor do you need to worry about my feelings.

[ She might, but she's not about to trouble him with that. ]

I'm cold. We both are.

[ They're both lonely, too, her brain reminds her (un)helpfully. She bats the thought away. ]

I'm not saying [ oh god will her mouth stop moving ] we have to do anything about it, but... at the very least, you don't have to worry about me.

... it would still be wrong of me, you know, we're cold yes but... I don't know if you've realized yet I am the type who goes all or nothing with these things. If I think it's there despite this... then there's no going back if we do anything regardless, Eula.

(His tone is quite serious too. Even as he's not facing her that's apparent in his attitude as of now that he wouldn't be feeling this way had he not considered it likely. Loneliness or not, cold or not even. Perhaps it ironically became something in secret between them now that nobody or really anything would know except for them by this point. He only can lay there and keep ignoring it as he speaks to her in such ways.

But... this meant then he'd have no choice but to reveal the rest of his unfortunate thoughts as much as he'd hate it. He doesn't want to but since she won't talk about it to anyone else, he does have to wonder if he should bother.)

...

(He won't say it yet in the end. That and he thinks he'd rather take that part of it to the grave though he had a feeling he'd have to unfortunately see it no matter how much he tries to push it out of mind. The vulnerability still is there but it's apparent that he's at a point he's not certain on if speaking further would end well.

Yet that won't stop the other thoughts from flowing in to his immense displeasure too whenever he held no desire to break hearts despite his attitude.)

It's not like I'm calling you precious, it's always been my thought that the heart is something to be cautious with. (Though hiding the rest of his inner thoughts is going to be a chore since she caught on quickly.) I do apologize if it felt that way.

(Perhaps it's his knightly side resurfacing despite himself. The old Diluc Ragnvindr who joined them with his eyes lit as gentle yet passionate flames before it all went to pieces and ash flying in the breeze.)

[ Her eyes narrow as he speaks, and there's a long moment of silence that stretches between them when he's done, something uncomfortable before she moves to roll over again, her back to him once more.

On the surface, everything he's saying makes sense. She understands it, recognizes the sense in it, in a different situation would probably respect him for it— and yet, somehow, right now his words do little but hurt.

Which... Isn't that stupid? To think: there she was just a moment ago claiming not to be precious, yet in the moment of truth she feels like her heart could very easily snap. And over what, exactly? They barely know each other, they're practically strangers.

Yet somehow she's left feeling rejected.

It's not like she can blame him. He said himself that he's the type who goes all or nothing— she is, too. And there's nothing about this that has the potential for being more. They're strangers— acquaintances at best— who happened to find themselves in a situation that required physical closeness. Despite what he may think, whatever feelings he's having— whatever feelings she's having— she knows it's just the cold.

Outside of that, she's a Lawrence. Outcast in all the wrong ways. It can't be "all", not with her.

So that just leaves "nothing".

She can't just leave him in silence, as much as she might like to, and so after she settles again, she takes a breath. ]

There's nothing to apologize for. Anyway, I understand what you mean.

The thoughts that truly agitated me are different than what I'm speaking of currently, that and I've felt as if I were to mention it that you might not like it... if you're truly that curious on one hand we do have the vow of secrecy.

(Even if he'd have to brace himself to likely be on the receiving end of her own sword in response. Perhaps it's why despite thinking earlier that he'd sooner take this to his grave that he should tell her after all; letting her decide at least what this could be even as he simply lays there. He didn't know how to feel about his feelings shifting into that with his thoughts either.

If anything it made his head hurt all the more.

They aren't close. They're not close at all, they've just barely gotten to know one another to a degree even if they're still in this situation where they're both physically close to one another in a blizzard as their minds begin to argue with certain sides of them.

So his inner turmoil at the thought of his estranged brother flirting with her with only worsens...

If it's truly over the cold why does he feel so agitated thinking about it? It shouldn't be that way even as he attempts to force down his temper from rising with his resonance. So far this time he did it before his body began to heat up to temperatures that would have spelled doom in general.

Damn his stupid mind.)

If I'm going to be blunt on it, it felt... stupid of me to feel my agitation, my irritation flaring at this thought. Mainly because it involves you, yes, but no you are not on the receiving end of what I felt.

(... he'll just have to hope if there is a funeral that Kaeya doesn't suddenly embellish what happened.)

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