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𝐄𝐮𝐥𝐚 𝐋𝐚𝐰𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 ([personal profile] vergeltung) wrote2022-08-22 01:55 am

𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭

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dawnbreaked: (pic#16039639)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-12 06:51 am (UTC)(link)
(Perhaps a good thing she doesn't know yet just what he'd do. Passion and worry igniting him over it wouldn't do well for them trying to avoid having his first in the middle of this blizzard. He hates to say it but he definitely thinks he'd be the type to do as some did in novels before... feelings boiling over with relief into something more.

Something deeper no less.

But now he's trying to remind himself to not be Kaeya with those thoughts knowing that they had to get out of there safely. That and he had a feeling were it to tip over this time there wouldn't be any stopping; it's why he finds himself just making certain his heat eases again after those thoughts made it rise again.)


... good. Otherwise if something did injure you that badly enough to worry me I don't think I'd let it survive for long.

(She is however right he wouldn't attempt to smite her anyway with the earlier point but he's not going to tell her that. Especially since he thinks she has enough of an idea about it.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16062165)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-12 07:18 am (UTC)(link)
... even if my spike in heat was for multiple reasons, I did realize I might not smite you but there is something else I'd do outside of that anger.

(He's not going to admit just how much of it was toward inappropriate thoughts easily outside of the little he'll reveal as of now despite himself trying not to go that far down the way. Perhaps this is him revealing that much involving how not so far from the truth she was about it for something else for her to keep in her mind after tonight.

It's already proving impossible for him to stop thinking of her already.

So she's going to have part of her wish with him being unable to think about much else even when he's out there fighting his way through the mages and whatever else the Abyss had waiting.

... hopefully he doesn't get himself hurt even as his face turns a shade of red similar to his hair again at the thoughts building again toward inappropriate.

Damn it, just as he got the heat to go down enough to not be as noticeable.

From strangers to him wondering what just happened to cause his mind and feelings to change. Even if that part of him that's fighting him over it still is quite honestly, he's not sure if he could dare bring himself to go back to his cold and aloof tones as he once did.)


I feel like if Kaeya was here he'd be calling me hopeless right around now.

(More like both of them. He's avoiding that mention.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16062160)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-12 07:48 am (UTC)(link)
Knowing Kaeya, he'd have likely started saying all the ways I'm likely considering how to enact said thoughts... in front of her, while we're both trying to at least attempt to wait.

(Somehow he's glad that she's not asking, he's not sure how he'd describe what he'd do himself but he knows part of it definitely involved his hands all over her while making sure to avoid any spot she's hurt at. By the creeping heat despite his attempts at being in his norm he had to force himself to not let it get too high again.

A joy he supposes of having to deal with an active pyro resonance and hormones flaring.

Even if he can bet that Kaeya would have been laughing at Diluc's predicament in general, in his usual way, while likely commenting that he hasn't seen his brother like this before.

Much to Diluc's own horror but he immediately shook himself from the thoughts. Maybe for once there's a tinge of melancholy; knowing that some of it is in fact his fault.

His temper and grief didn't solve much for the two of them.)


... maybe it's a good thing he's not here anyway with her, then again who knows. What I do know however is that he might learn eventually knowing Kaeya.
dawnbreaked: (pic#16027123)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-12 03:59 pm (UTC)(link)
He would at least. There's things I'm keeping for him too secret, though he has far more of mine currently.

(Between the vigilante antics and really his other ventures in life from said antics. Though he's glad he survived this long with his help even if Diluc himself won't admit it or anything; the thoughts were at least kept at bay enough by their current conversation. That and really the feeling of her trying to make sure with her own resonance that he didn't near overheat again.

As horrified as he'd normally be, Kaeya is good at this.

He wouldn't judge them which also helps, he knows his brother well enough to say that much among other things. It's enough that he might notice but he can't say that he hates it as much. Perhaps the teasing would be what he dislikes but that's about it since Kaeya does take every chance to make him squirm unfortunately.

Second thought maybe he is worried a little.)


Being on the receiving end of his remarks due to it is the cost however.

(Though he did have the same thought lingering... with a quick reminder to himself that if they ever did come out about it that he'd prefer to not have it be by Kaeya or Amber's mouth's doing it.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16035504)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-12 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
(That... did for a brief moment shut him down mentally.

Really he feels the same way about it being worthwhile to deal with the remarks with her being the reason he's suffering through it; he's dealt with worse from Kaeya before anyway.

It couldn't stop his cheeks from getting near as red as his hair with her tone however, it especially couldn't stop him from near wondering where that came from even as he does lean in for a brief kiss of his own in response.)


... I can I think. Maybe, depends on what someone as beautiful as you are might want.

(He's trying to channel him too sounds like in his own way, low with his already deep voice before he couldn't keep at it and just shook his head grinning. Gods, he felt like he needed a bath for trying to act like his brother briefly but he didn't mind it.

Teasing at Kaeya's expense when he's not there to defend himself isn't bad.)


Believe me, he drives me insane too. I've seen him when he's drunk after all.
dawnbreaked: (pic#16057885)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-13 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
... true, though I don't judge them. Then again the only few people who can say they've seen me drunk is Kaeya and Jean now; I mainly avoid it since personal preferences aside, I am a rather large lightweight.

(Thankfully he's not prone to judging over her partners for the night either; he's seen Kaeya's extensive attempts and 'dates' after all. Though he wouldn't mind if she did attempt to draw out of him more this side of him in general. At least for her eyes and ears alone, he doesn't just do this for anyone if he's honest.

Or really anyone before her.

Diluc however did keep his head down low during those times he was there mostly because he did think Eula could ironically do far better than some of his patrons. But the thoughts aside, he almost wondered if he should subject her to the kind of drunk he happens to be. Likely not. She might attempt to smite him since Kaeya has mentioned he gets far more clingy while calling it adorable.

He isn't certain if that's changed any.)


The only comment I'll give you for how terrible I am is that Kaeya said once that it was adorable watching me attempt to cling to him and Jean while I kept trying to fall asleep on him.

(Gods that's also embarrassing to admit. He isn't sure why but there is color back in his cheeks to a degree but without the previous heat for the time being. The lighthearted conversation seemingly helping his mind not travel to other places.

At least he's willing to give her embarrassing imagery of himself to work with despite himself for these moments.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16057882)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-13 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
... if I did then it'd be for your eyes only, you know. (He doesn't just drink for anyone or at any time he might want to after all. The heat in his cheeks is growing though that's more at the kiss and her calling him 'cute' than anything else.)

But, don't be surprised if I'm I guess very touchy?

(For the time being there's her next comment to focus on. He's seen all of it, with the men, the women even. He always thought she didn't need to put herself down to going home with them but never understood why the thoughts struck, they rarely did with Kaeya unless the woman he chose was far more below his standards and that was more him wanting better for his brother.

Maybe he wanted better for her too.

Or maybe the attraction existed back then and he never once gave thought to it through his stubbornness.

Regardless, he did at least seem to still not judge her. It'd be hypocritical given Kaeya's own drunken antics; leaving really with any woman that seemed his type and interested often enough in him to go for a time. He's seen how Kaeya does it and has seen how he pursues often times Rosaria... though the latter case made him wonder if there's something else he's after from her.)


I did. (A small beat as he sighs.) Truthfully I'm not sure how easy it is to rile me up in that state however, I only know Kaeya said they also wouldn't let me out of sight. They didn't want someone to attempt to take advantage of it or me. (With how he is in a drunken state, he suspects it might not be difficult to get him riled up. His sleepiness likely came from other things, but, the problem is he's not certain if he'd stop with ease if he was worked up while inebriated to begin with.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16033643)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-13 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
I doubt they wouldn't trust you anyway. Knowing them if they didn't, things would be different. Kaeya likely would just worry if it's in a public setting just as she would; however I'd rather if I'm going to drink with you for it to be I suppose more private, more personal.

(Which is about more trust than he'd ever give his admirers to begin with; he knows by now she does hate the thought of them all over her which is why he's not necessarily bringing up what the drunken admirers of his has done with attempting to get his attention. All of it a bigger disaster and mess than he'd like, often times making him recoil at the sight just about.

And why Kaeya in another reason took time aside to further educate him on bedroom behavior knowing Diluc had forced himself away from a fair amount of things. He didn't want him being used.

He hates to admit it but Kaeya cares really a lot more than he bothers to let on just as he himself does.)


Personally I never once felt comfortable with the idea of being drunk around them to begin with... not whenever I don't know what they're capable of and the fact that some of them might be sneakier than I'd like to deal with from strangers that think of me as a trophy.

(It's why for the time being with her tone shift, her relief, he's not necessarily minding letting down his guard to talk to her about this. To smile in his own case at her affections while letting her see some manner of fondness and affection from himself too.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039637)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-13 06:11 am (UTC)(link)
(Maybe he did notice a little.

Perhaps it's why he stops, perhaps it's why with some manner of voiceless concern his warm hand again cups her cheek. Should he tell her how he felt she could have done better? He's not certain. Some other time maybe. He doesn't press her to speak what's on her mind though he leans in close for her just as a small reminder he's fine enough distracting her within their limits.

Until later.

He's never been certain on how they could just sit there and treat her that way, he's always felt some form of annoyance about it since no matter her own reputation she didn't deserve that sort of treatment. Nor the shame or regret that followed it.

Even if it's unsaid by him he doesn't dislike how fierce she is, how strong she can be as a person no matter circumstances between them.

Even without him saying it he hopes she knows as he leans in again, another kiss, but this time his own emotions were leaking into it. His own worries about if she was okay back then that he never acted on out of his own stubbornness, his own thoughts that those patrons for daring using her own inebriation as an excuse no less was people he did not dare want in there.

He hopes she understands that or can see it in some form now; even if his aloofness may not be easy to bear or deal with.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039635)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-13 06:43 am (UTC)(link)
(He's not pushing it too far, even as he doesn't part for now. His arms held her closer; letting her stay with him like this for once. Letting her have more of his feelings than he ever knew he had toward all of it for her.

Maybe it's different than earlier, maybe it's not in the way he does this knowing perhaps she might not be thrilled and may move him further up on her list as she once told him too. Yet he couldn't help but do this; not whenever she was sinking again, not whenever some of this has always been things he could never bring himself to say to her. If he has to be a lifeline for now, in general, then letting out such things isn't always bad.

If she needs more of him despite a desire to wait... he thinks for once for her alone he'd make exceptions more than he ever thought he would. Something he never once thought he'd feel or think, something that part of him that argues is firmly against, yelling at him about before it's silenced by simply thoughts of her well being.

And really his own thoughts of how he should have maybe been more honest with her in the end.

Earlier even than just now.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039639)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-13 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
I know... (And yet, his own murmur of it is soft in response, breathless.) I... whenever I got to thinking of it... even after noticing that look on your face...

(There's a beat. He's trying to collect his thoughts, his emotions being so vivid on this weren't helping.)

... I thought to myself if I'm giving you all of me... even with the promise... even if it happens early despite our word given... I don't want to make you feel the way they likely did.

(And... he does trust her. It's difficult, his own softness and emotions were evident just as he finds himself unable to take his eyes off her. His hearts pounding, the heat wasn't unbearable but it's there too with her in his embrace. His issues with trust are always going to be there, but for once with all of it he feels as if he can genuinely trust her.

That's why he did kiss her the way he did no matter how conflicted he himself has been with his own distractions, his own feelings.)


... I didn't like seeing it either, the way they spoke to you and behaved. I didn't judge you, I judged them for doing that.

(Maybe not the full admission that she could have done better than them, but it's close enough to the complete truth since he did always feel that way with what they were doing.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16062160)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-13 07:48 am (UTC)(link)
(Conflicting, confusing, even he wonders just what he was thinking saying this in their brief time apart. He could have blamed her for their words but he didn't. Drunk and fiery she was, he didn't judge her for her reactions, judge her for what she said, what she did even. He didn't find need of it; vicious cycle or not he always considered her the victim to their actions of provoking her as they saw fit when she were there.

It honestly made his blood boil nearly at the thought of them trying again in general when she's just there to see him.

Yet he's forcing himself to focus on her, the way she's grabbed on to him and really the way that they're both being a mess in a literal sense. Both of them uncertain on how to remotely feel or to speak of this even but he's not going to try and figure out things more knowing he's not in any shape to do it.

The thoughts soon enough at feeling her tug him closer at his half open vest fade, his lips against hers with the tenderness he had earlier. The fire filled tenderness he thinks he should have shown her originally but even that shortly faded by how close he has her in his arms, how close he is to her no less.

Gods above he's certain that whatever this is, he never thinks he can go back to how things once were between them.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039631)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2022-11-13 12:59 pm (UTC)(link)
(Reminding himself to be 'good' is a bit harder but manageable, his own breathing getting somewhat harsher with the breaks yet still warm enough throughout it. He's considering it somewhat lucky that he's not daring to move aside from near drowning with her in it. It almost makes him wonder how often it happened even if the thought for the time being is shelved currently.

Nothing that he'd dare ask anyway.

Seeing her like this didn't help much with his own attraction involving his old self, the side of him that he would have thought gone with how closed off he became in those three years resurfaced, felt foreign to him even as it came back to a degree.

He's still not certain how she did it but she did.

Whether it be they drown or not it isn't as if he didn't expect her vengeance for going this far to do something for a change. If anything Diluc was fully expecting after this to be in more trouble in her eyes; unfair or not perhaps to her, that's how he always has been. Beneath his stoicism that is knowing that some parts of him simply never faded away no matter how he thought himself. It all just seemed to be dormant.

The consequences can be dealt with later, whatever consequences she chooses to give him in the end.)

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