vergeltung | 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭

(He's trying to get the thoughts to calm. It's harder than he anticipated, his body is against it even if he is trying to rest just a little. But... it would seem by how he's breathing, not dozing no less, that it isn't working as the minutes pass. The heats there, enough that it's hard to get it to stop lingering toward certain thoughts fluttering about that are testing his patience as much as hers.

After ten minutes, his eyes are open again.

Sleep staying far away would make his job harder but he's done things on little to no rest before no matter the environment.

He knows what this spells for them knowing that they're trying to not be all over one another given circumstances but it's difficult. It's still not stopping him from feeling the same way as her, trying to not pounce, trying to not react too quickly at that.)

... seems like we're both not sleeping.

(And his eyes are lingering again too.)

[ Ten minutes feel like thirty; Eula somehow keeps her eyes on the mouth of the cave the entire time, which is something of an achievement given that they're naturally drawn to the downturn of his lips, to the way his lashes flutter against his cheeks while his eyes are closed, to—

Oh by Barbatos and all the Archons, she feels like a lovelorn mess. This is not any way for someone of her standing to feel or behave, and much less to wind up in such a situation as this. Ten minutes is just long enough for the anxiety of her thoughts to crowd back in, to try and yell and scream at her about how critical a mistake she has made, how there's no going back from this in all the worst ways. The knotted coil in her stomach becomes a swirling mass of anxiety, her throat feels both dry and clogged at the same time, and—

He speaks, and her eyes tear from the view of the outside to his face, to the way his eyes drift down to her mouth.

Eula shakes her head. ]

...No. We're not.

[ She already knows that kissing him will chase the thoughts away. But at the same time, his experience— it's something to be concerned about, to make sure she does the right thing...

Her eyes drop from his face. ]

You deserve better than this. Than here.

[ Her words are quiet, but stubborn. She wants him to understand that no matter how drunk on each other they become, it can't go that far. She won't let it. ]

I understand at least... I don't mind talking about just really anything if it helps.

(Though it might help more if they both were able to focus more on other things. The heat can ease anyway more over time and he knows it; he's not the best at idle chatter and he knows it yet he has a feeling with how foreign it is on them both that they'll have a lot of anxieties about this.

With him working himself to the ground it's a wonder he hasn't gotten more hurt or had worse done to his body outside of what scars he obtained.

Perhaps it's why he's trying to distract one another, from these thoughts, their anxieties, just by doing whatever he can even as his eyes close once more. Maybe it might help if he does that... making the thoughts focus elsewhere as he tries to doze while they speak to one another.)

Maybe... hmm... whenever I was traveling, I had to learn how to cook beyond simple meals for instance. I didn't take the opportunity to ask Adelinde if she could have taught me more so for a fair part of it I was learning through my own stubbornness; she would have been horrified at some of my attempts not looking right.

(Maybe some stories from his travels could help them...?

He hopes so anyway.)

[ There's a soft chuckle from her at that, her mind temporarily but successfully distracted from both the wandering anxiety and frustrated attraction alike.

She understands all too well how difficult the art of cooking is— she herself has become quite talented at it over the years, and nowadays the Company's rations are something adapted from her own personal recipe by their cooks.

(And quite frankly, she enjoys her own version much more.)

But for Diluc to learn on his own, without assistance and through sheer stubbornness of will, is impressive— she, of course, had paid lessons: a proper tutor and punishments for mistakes. ]

In that case... what is your favorite thing to make now?

[ She also has to wonder, if she's honest, what the failed attempts looked like— or what kind of expression he wore on his face when he failed them. She can't help but think that frustration would look good on him—

No. Focus. ]

You said you had food with you, too. Is it something you prepared yourself?

... you might laugh but my favorite is actually Pile 'Em Up. I actually can make my own version of it by heart now just as easily as the normal one.

(With his eyes coming open again after a brief moment, he did wonder if he should tell her how often he was concentrating so not to accidentally burn anything again. Really to not near give himself some form of illness once more as he attempted to have it come out properly instead of... really the messes he made trying and learning.

He knows that his hard work had paid off since he's quite capable of cooking now for himself whenever he has to go out for long periods; he even joins the staff on occasion when making breakfast or other things.

But really all of it reminds him of his frustration, his attempts at focusing and his stubbornness to succeed so that he didn't have to go hungry for long periods until he reached some manner of civilization.)

It is, it's something I was suggested by Albedo awhile ago. Goulash, I made sure to secure it and did have a bit extra.

(Thankfully he still had that recipe from whenever he asked too, otherwise Diluc would have had a harder time trying to track him down to ask about it again.

Then again he doubts that Albedo would have minded writing it once more.)

[ Admittedly, she does laugh— hopefully, though, he can see from the look on her face that it's not meaning to mock him; rather, it's a sound of surprise more than anything else. Somehow, what amounts to a rather large amount of meat and potatoes was not exactly what she expected from someone she considers to be quite refined—

(although to be fair, their time together has already shown him to be somewhat less so than she expected)

—She doesn't want him to misunderstand her intent, so she says: ] I apologize. It isn't really laughable. Just... not what I expected of you, Ragnvindr.

[ He continues to surprise— and never once in a bad way.

Her brows lift at the mention of Goulash, though. She's heard of it as a meal, but hadn't really considered it for a trip up the mountain, and yet— ]

It has cold-dampening properties, doesn't it?

[ A smile, a slight jostle of her shoulder against his. ] You could have just given me food instead of warming me yourself, you hound. [ And then she laughs, the first real, rich laugh that's escaped her since this whole mess started— and a rare enough sound in general that it might be the first time he's ever heard it for himself. ]

I don't think anyone would expect it truthfully. I'm by no means offended, since I know that it's not that normal for someone like me to admit.

(And he did enjoy the fact he got her to laugh too. So mentioning that is at least worth a laugh at his own expense knowing that he couldn't quite blame her for thinking that way or feeling that way given his stature to people normally. If anything this just made it all the more relaxing for him knowing that.

It didn't stop him from laughing, just a little too. He could have given her it and here he was trying to help her warm up faster by using his resonance. Then again it isn't like he minds letting her try his cooking if she's that interested, the thought is of course there now too for him.

And he did reach into his pack to grab the extra bowl he had contained; the heat still was there somewhat and he took a brief moment to make certain, in likely an unusual way to be using his resonance, to reheat it just enough for it to do as it needed. To give her warmth at hearing her laugh like that.

... really he finds her laughing like that to be reward enough for this.)

Here. If you want a chance to try some of my cooking then. (Perhaps not his specialty, but it's something in the end that he did make with his own two hands in preparation for this trip.) I'll make something proper perhaps next time too.

[ She's not going to lie: she's hungry.

Her pack is a little too far away for her to get any of her rations without leaving the circle of his warmth and the comfort of the bedroll they're sharing, though; as such, she simply hasn't allowed herself to focus on it until now—

Is what she'd like to say. But the truth of the matter is that she actually just hasn't thought about food. Wrapped up in him like this, her focus has been...

She is going to be so unhappy with herself later.

But that's a worry for then. For now, she reaches to take the bowl that he offers, and her eyes close briefly in content at the warm feeling of the bowl on her skin— and maybe if he listens close enough he might imagine he hears a soft mutter about the unfair advantages Pyro Vision holders have over the rest of an unspecified "us", something something take vengeance on the gods—

Her eyes open for long enough to taste the soup... and then fall shut once more, her lips curving into a smile. ]

Not bad, Ragnvindr. Not bad at all.

(The soft muttering near made him snort but he resisted. It's best he did anyway, it's a good thing his own pack wasn't as far away knowing that they still had time until the blizzard ends. Though he is hoping a little it might help her get some manner of rest with a warm stomach in exchange.

Even he can't say he'd mind if she fell asleep much as he'll be at his busiest soon without it.

But, hearing her compliment did put some manner of smile on his lips. Not one of his small ones or his smirks either, an actual one. He's pleased that it worked out so well to plan ahead normally in his own case; the extra was meant to be there in case if the weather worsened before he made it depending on how it had been looking prior to that.

Her taking it isn't a bad trade off anyway knowing that eating would help a little once he shifts around to enable her to keep his warmth again near even after eating.)

I gave it my best efforts after all. But, do you have anything you prefer making out of curiosity?

(She did ask him about his favorite after all.)

I... quite enjoy cooking, and I'm usually willing to try making new things... but a favorite, hmm?

[ Her lips purse in thought; it's with the same thoughtful expression on her face that she eats a few more mouthfuls of the soup.

And where Diluc might be planning for Eula to enjoy the whole of the bowl, it's after she's eaten about half of it that she holds it out for him. It's clear at this point with the storm beginning to slowly but surely wane that that they'll be able to see the worst of the it through, and they'll both need as much warmth and strength as they can get for the day ahead, not just her.

Besides, she has her rations— and she makes a mental note to supply him with a couple of them too. ]

Moon pie. [ It's said with a smile as she holds the bowl toward him. ] It is of course a typical staple, but cooked in the right way— [ she supposes she has her own special version of this, too, if she thinks of it like that ] —the flavors can be so much richer than when you buy it from a restaurant.

(Moon pie? That did surprise him but not in a bad way.

With the things they've found out about one another it isn't necessarily much of one by this point; even as he also did with a little more surprise take the bowl from her carefully with a thankful glance. He hadn't noticed he was hungry either seems like much as he did offer it. With the storm easing he knows he'll need it.

Really any assistance was appreciated by him as shocking as it can be knowing his cold demeanor even if he has a pyro vision.)

Mm, I actually haven't tried to make one yet or tried to eat one I don't think just yet? Or not recently anyway on terms of eating one. (He can finish the other half of this anyway slowly since they're talking. He's not as focused on eating as he is the conversation at the moment.) I could show you how I make my own Pile 'Em Up later too.

[ Her brows raise in surprise. He hasn't eaten moon pie in recent memory? It's practically a staple. Even people who don't eat them as much as her surely indulge in them frequently enough to remember—

But then again, Diluc has just made it pretty clear that he's a steak-and-potatoes kind of guy, hasn't he?

As he takes the bowl back from her, she sits back again, enjoying the warmth that courses through her body even without him being pressed right up against her—

~~(although if she's honest, she's kind of looking forward to when he's finished eating so that he can be pressed up against her again)~~— that's a thought that she shakes off as quickly as she can, because she doesn't think she can successfully blame the color threatening to rise up her cheeks on the food that is no longer in her hands.

So she focuses on what he says instead, although... apparently that doesn't help either, because there's a part of her liking the thought of him cooking for her— of her cooking for him— this whole thing sounds horribly domestic, and it's nice—

This is not going well for her right now, is it?

She smiles, even if the expression is a little shaky, a little shyer than she would like. ]

It's a deal. I'll make you my own version of a moon pie, too.

Another thing to look forward to, I think.

(And he wasn't too far from finished either, noting her expression while wondering just how else to go about this now. He can probably tell her more stories of his travels... maybe he can go about the more dangerous aspects of it. He's had quite a few run-in's with trouble to begin with in it.

He'll need to figure it out he supposes in a bit once he sets down the now finished and emptied bowl to shift back into taking up the position he had before. Pressed up into her to let her warm further.

He won't comment on her shyness or really her heated cheeks but it's definitely interesting seeing more sides of her than he thought he'd ever get to see.

Diluc can't say that he hates it either even with that part of his brain nagging at him.)

... it was interesting seeing everything I had in my travels. Cooking aside, I didn't get to obviously go into Inazuma at the time but I did go to other places in my time away.

It was after that I decided what I wanted to do. Even if it's dangerous I didn't want to just sit there after what happened... though I only wish I got to see the look on Eroch's face whenever he was removed from his rank by Jean.

(That wretched coward wanting to sell them out no less and saying Diluc's loss and want for them to find the culprits should be ignored... he'll never forget it though Kaeya's descriptions appeased him enough.)

Mm.

[ It's a soft sound, one of agreement— but also one of content when he moves to press up against her once more, and really she feels like she actually could sleep like this, even though she knows that if she tries, the thoughts will grab a hold of her mind again and keep sleep at bay.

But at least sitting like this is nice, feels restful even if she's not actually getting any sleep. His voice is soft and gentle enough too that it almost feels like it's lulling her—

Until a thought strikes her out of the blue and she sits up a little straighter against him, making sure that he can see her face to understand that she's serious when she says it. The briefest moment of preparation, and that's all she gets, because in the next second she blurts it out: ]

I've never judged you, you know. Or thought worse of you. For leaving.

[ Perhaps a strange thing to say... but he has made sure to tell her multiple times this evening that he doesn't hate her just for who she is— somehow, it feels right to make sure he knows the same. ]

The Knights... it's the right place for me, but with everything that happened [ and she's sure she doesn't even know the full of it, somehow, despite being across the vast majority of the company's intelligence at any given time ] I can understand why it isn't the right place for you. I've... always thought that.

... not many bothered to understand why I'd leave. Often times I was told or asked why I don't come back, I still say Jean is waiting for me to return too even after I told her in letters I wouldn't be, even as Kaeya often times told her from what he said.

(Plus it wasn't his place. She's right about it anyway, he's known it ever since his return to Mondstadt. He wouldn't return to the Knights because it's not his place; him forcing himself to be distant with anyone that spoke to him is part of that too. Because he didn't want them to get involved knowing what he's doing is dangerous.

Risky, deadly even. That target on his back only grew bigger with everything he's done despite the Fatui and others not knowing his identity. With all of it he's been counting on them learning one day that he's the only doing this, that he might in fact be in more danger.

That is the price of his revenge, his complete isolation.

But... with what she's done, with what they've done, it's caused things to change in a way he never once expected. It's why he hopes she can handle the risks, the danger that might perhaps rear its ugly head in by involving herself with him when that time comes.)

... it's why I don't fault you or hate you for choosing your own path and feeling as if it's right. (He can hate the knights but he'll always hold opinions of those in their ranks separate depending on who. So far, Eula's shifted into being more important to him than he expected due to this evening.) And I never saw your last name as a reason to hate you either. I chose to isolate myself, though... as you can see it came with me running myself down as I've mentioned earlier.

(And worrying those who were still there to care for him.)

[ She smiles, shakes her head at that. How like Jean that is, to believe in him even after he's sworn off returning, after Kaeya's told her on his behalf; it's the same way she admitted Eula herself into the Knights and gave her the opportunities she did. There's a part of her, Eula thinks, that is too soft, for as tough as she can be when it counts.

But regardless of that, she also understands why Diluc continues to isolate himself. It's easier for him, the same way being in the Knights is easier for her. At this point, it's no secret or surprise to her that the two of them are alike in that they'll take whatever steps they have to for their own personal vengeance to succeed, no matter how uncomfortable it might be.

Which is why this is so out of character for both of them in many ways.

And yet she still doesn't pull away— nor does she want to. ]

I understand. We've actually both isolated ourselves, haven't we? ...In different ways, and to different results, but...

[ She chuckles again, softly, another shake of her head. That in itself is unsurprising, given that he's a Ragnvindr and she's a Lawrence. ]

Anyway, as much as I am aware that I have no right to ask, I'll say again that I expect you to take better care of yourself from now on. You've already built up more than enough of my enmity; trust me when I say that you don't want any more of it on your shoulders.

[ Her tone is serious, perhaps even severe. But there's something gentle in her gaze no matter how hard she tries. ]

... I feel if I didn't that you'd likely show up on my door step with medical supplies and about to smite me for not being considerate enough of your feelings on it.

(Not that he blames her. He knows that he's done quite... a few things that she would in fact smite him over had they grown closer to one another prior to this point. Maybe after too had she found out about Albedo seeing him fight near a disrupted leyline by utilizing his abilities to check it.

Even if Albedo does know now what Diluc is doing he's not talking about him which he's thankful for. The alchemist ironically is quite capable of privacy for these moments which is useful.

Still.

Out of character or not, he's in agreement with her on not pulling away from this, not wanting to separate for long either at this point.)

I'll still watch myself like I said, I won't do anything completely reckless though I ask the same of you too even if I know that I have no right to do it too.

(It's really the gentleness of her gaze, her severe yet serious tone aside, that causes him to cave to that more than he did earlier. He owes that much to her doesn't he? They did get closer in a way he never thought possible after all.)

[ The expression on her face becomes something of a smirk— clearly, he understands the way she thinks, now. And while she's positive that at least in part his words are meant to placate her, she does believe him when he says he'll be more careful.

In turn, it's only fair that she agree once more, and so she does, nodding her agreement before voicing it in the next moment, as if to clarify: ]

You have a deal, of course. Not that I believe that you would attempt to smite me if I were to break it, but...

[ ...He'd do something, she's sure, but she doesn't know what exactly.

And that's thrilling.

She shifts a little where she's sitting, trying to ignore that thought and how it wants to make all the blood in her body rush south all over again. ]

...Either way, I'll be certain that we don't have to find out.

[ The main point of it, really, is that she doesn't want to worry him in the same way that she'd prefer not to worry about him. Whatever that means is something she can deal with later, though; for now it gets shoved away in the back of her head with everything else, box locked, key thrown away. ]

(Perhaps a good thing she doesn't know yet just what he'd do. Passion and worry igniting him over it wouldn't do well for them trying to avoid having his first in the middle of this blizzard. He hates to say it but he definitely thinks he'd be the type to do as some did in novels before... feelings boiling over with relief into something more.

Something deeper no less.

But now he's trying to remind himself to not be Kaeya with those thoughts knowing that they had to get out of there safely. That and he had a feeling were it to tip over this time there wouldn't be any stopping; it's why he finds himself just making certain his heat eases again after those thoughts made it rise again.)

... good. Otherwise if something did injure you that badly enough to worry me I don't think I'd let it survive for long.

(She is however right he wouldn't attempt to smite her anyway with the earlier point but he's not going to tell her that. Especially since he thinks she has enough of an idea about it.)

[ There's a spike in his heat, and for a moment she wonders if his thoughts are going down the same path as hers, and a moment is just long enough to get her heart racing and her mouth dry, her—

And then he speaks, and she tries not to feel too disappointed.

Anger at whatever may have hurt her is still nice, of course. Realistically, probably nicer than whatever incredibly inappropriate thing her mind was trying to conjure up.

But anger is also dangerous, because it means the worry is deeper than it should be, the feelings stronger.

She tries not to think about the fact that her "smiting" him would be out of the same anger— and for that matter, what that means exactly. After all, until tonight they were strangers, they barely knew each other, and the part of her brain that isn't already too enamored for her own good is putting up a good fight to make it stay that way.

The ship has already sailed though, hasn't it? Logically, she knows that. Whatever they were before this, it's clear that as this night stretches on, they're not strangers anymore.

Her response is meant to be playful, but with the conflicting thoughts in her mind, it comes out a little drier than she would like: ] Well, well. Who'd have known that Eula Lawrence of all people would find herself a knight in shining armor.

... even if my spike in heat was for multiple reasons, I did realize I might not smite you but there is something else I'd do outside of that anger.

(He's not going to admit just how much of it was toward inappropriate thoughts easily outside of the little he'll reveal as of now despite himself trying not to go that far down the way. Perhaps this is him revealing that much involving how not so far from the truth she was about it for something else for her to keep in her mind after tonight.

It's already proving impossible for him to stop thinking of her already.

So she's going to have part of her wish with him being unable to think about much else even when he's out there fighting his way through the mages and whatever else the Abyss had waiting.

... hopefully he doesn't get himself hurt even as his face turns a shade of red similar to his hair again at the thoughts building again toward inappropriate.

Damn it, just as he got the heat to go down enough to not be as noticeable.

From strangers to him wondering what just happened to cause his mind and feelings to change. Even if that part of him that's fighting him over it still is quite honestly, he's not sure if he could dare bring himself to go back to his cold and aloof tones as he once did.)

I feel like if Kaeya was here he'd be calling me hopeless right around now.

(More like both of them. He's avoiding that mention.)

[ This time, there's no stopping the blush that creeps up her cheeks at lightning-pace, her eyes dropping from his face because for a second she can hardly bear to look at him, with the weight of everything on her like this, with the conflicting thoughts and feelings both running rampant— and it doesn't help that she can see the color making its way up his cheeks too, as the heat stops fading and wavers at a level just above what otherwise seemed to be his normal.

Once again, it's his words that break her out of her reverie, but this time when she looks up, it's with a surprised laugh instead of the strange disappointment that settled on her before. ]

I doubt you're the only one. Alberich doesn't fear his life enough to mince his words on the topic; I have no doubt he would use the same word to describe me, if he understood— [ A pause, and a fond smile takes her lips. ] Perhaps he wouldn't, but if Amber were here, I'd be in trouble. She's too loud for her own good, that girl.

[ Almost as bad as Kaeya, actually, although she doesn't say that.

This is good, though. Because it's distracting her from wanting to ask.

Kind of. ]

Knowing Kaeya, he'd have likely started saying all the ways I'm likely considering how to enact said thoughts... in front of her, while we're both trying to at least attempt to wait.

(Somehow he's glad that she's not asking, he's not sure how he'd describe what he'd do himself but he knows part of it definitely involved his hands all over her while making sure to avoid any spot she's hurt at. By the creeping heat despite his attempts at being in his norm he had to force himself to not let it get too high again.

A joy he supposes of having to deal with an active pyro resonance and hormones flaring.

Even if he can bet that Kaeya would have been laughing at Diluc's predicament in general, in his usual way, while likely commenting that he hasn't seen his brother like this before.

Much to Diluc's own horror but he immediately shook himself from the thoughts. Maybe for once there's a tinge of melancholy; knowing that some of it is in fact his fault.

His temper and grief didn't solve much for the two of them.)

... maybe it's a good thing he's not here anyway with her, then again who knows. What I do know however is that he might learn eventually knowing Kaeya.

[ She feels like her cheeks are going to catch fire— it's too easy to imagine Kaeya telling them all about Diluc's thoughts until they're both squirming in discomfort with the red burning their faces while Amber stands there and gapes in mortification at the three of them in confusion.

But even with the heat in her cheeks and the distracting, embarrassing worries, she can't help but notice how warm he's getting once again. She reaches up, pressing her hands against his cheeks once more, trying to use her own resonance to bring his heat back to a manageable level.

She lets him talk, and he continues on, mentioning something about Kaeya maybe finding out... and she should be horrified, but she isn't.

A breath, and she shakes her head. ]

I wouldn't be surprised. He's frighteningly canny at times. It seems there's not often much that gets past him. But... you said he keeps secrets for you already, correct? We'll just have to be sure he keeps this one too.

[ Sure, they said they'd keep this a secret and everything, and she plans to stick to that but at the same time... Would it really be so bad if people knew?

She slams that thought into oblivion as quickly as it surfaces. ]

He would at least. There's things I'm keeping for him too secret, though he has far more of mine currently.

(Between the vigilante antics and really his other ventures in life from said antics. Though he's glad he survived this long with his help even if Diluc himself won't admit it or anything; the thoughts were at least kept at bay enough by their current conversation. That and really the feeling of her trying to make sure with her own resonance that he didn't near overheat again.

As horrified as he'd normally be, Kaeya is good at this.

He wouldn't judge them which also helps, he knows his brother well enough to say that much among other things. It's enough that he might notice but he can't say that he hates it as much. Perhaps the teasing would be what he dislikes but that's about it since Kaeya does take every chance to make him squirm unfortunately.

Second thought maybe he is worried a little.)

Being on the receiving end of his remarks due to it is the cost however.

(Though he did have the same thought lingering... with a quick reminder to himself that if they ever did come out about it that he'd prefer to not have it be by Kaeya or Amber's mouth's doing it.)

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