(The sigh he heaves is heavy. None of it felt as if it were the cold, it felt as if they were trying to convince one another they were better than this. They didn't need it. The cold is the cause of it yet it keeps hitting no matter how often he just tells himself that. He isn't Kaeya is right because Kaeya likely would not be sitting there if he felt a certain way to begin with. He would be acting on it which Diluc couldn't stomach doing because she wouldn't like it or enjoy it.
It's part of why he just stares again, now out to the blizzard once his scarlet eyes open once more. His gut hates this feeling and yet... he still cannot make himself ignore it which is why he wonders how much of a fool he is for telling her.)
I don't know how true that is at this point. Because I can try to force the thoughts away and they've stayed. (And it's not wrong. He's always done that with forcing these thoughts done yet it still remains clear as day there. He wants to say it's because they swore to secrecy but it's not the case. If he told her that he kept thinking of Kaeya flirting with her then she might not enjoy that either.) I'm serious that I dislike the thought of doing things the way he does you know.
I don't want to use someone's potential feelings toward me the way he does it.
As strange as it is for me to admit after saying just earlier I force it all down... it's really the principle of these things for me, if I go that far I want it to be something deeper not something for the night and that's that.
(Somehow he's glad he's not looking at her while he admits this further. His cheeks reddening at the thought of them isn't going to help him either. But, he did feel he had to explain himself just enough in that regard involving his perspective.
Diluc may perhaps be many things, as well as someone she has on her 'vengeance' list sure, but he held no desire to go that low with someone's heart in general.)
Because I don't want to play with anyone's heart... freezing cold or not. (An awkward beat.) ... and I'd hate to take something that precious for granted to begin with.
no subject
It's part of why he just stares again, now out to the blizzard once his scarlet eyes open once more. His gut hates this feeling and yet... he still cannot make himself ignore it which is why he wonders how much of a fool he is for telling her.)
I don't know how true that is at this point. Because I can try to force the thoughts away and they've stayed. (And it's not wrong. He's always done that with forcing these thoughts done yet it still remains clear as day there. He wants to say it's because they swore to secrecy but it's not the case. If he told her that he kept thinking of Kaeya flirting with her then she might not enjoy that either.) I'm serious that I dislike the thought of doing things the way he does you know.
I don't want to use someone's potential feelings toward me the way he does it.
As strange as it is for me to admit after saying just earlier I force it all down... it's really the principle of these things for me, if I go that far I want it to be something deeper not something for the night and that's that.
(Somehow he's glad he's not looking at her while he admits this further. His cheeks reddening at the thought of them isn't going to help him either. But, he did feel he had to explain himself just enough in that regard involving his perspective.
Diluc may perhaps be many things, as well as someone she has on her 'vengeance' list sure, but he held no desire to go that low with someone's heart in general.)
Because I don't want to play with anyone's heart... freezing cold or not. (An awkward beat.) ... and I'd hate to take something that precious for granted to begin with.