[ The worst part of it all is that despite having just told him she was going to sleep... Eula can't sleep. For the better part of an hour, she lies there, unmoving, her eyes shut and her breathing even, as if the stillness will work a kind of magic and lull her to sleep.
It doesn't.
Rather, her head spends the time sorting through those same thoughts that she's already shoved away, thoughts on which she would rather not focus, thoughts too soft and weak for her liking, the exact kind of wonderings that made her want to retreat into unconsciousness in the first place, wonderings made more of water than ice.
His fault, she decides, the thought bitter as it passes; only through fire can ice melt, after all. But deep down, she knows that's not true, no matter how loathe she is to admit it, no matter how instantly she tries to reject the thought as it surfaces.
She's lonely, that's all. She's been lonely for quite some time now.
That's just how it is, being an outcast not only from society, but from one's own family. And it's not like she does anything to help matters; she prefers it like thisโ at least that's what she tells herself, even nowโ it makes it easier to pursue the vengeance she seeks.
Or is it the other way aroundโ is her "vengeance" just another tool to keep people at a distance?
Keeping her from getting hurt.
Fall asleep, damnit.
She sighs, the sound sudden in the near-silent interior of the cave, an obvious contrast from the roaring storm outside. And then her cheeks heat, her body tensing.
With any luck, Diluc will just think it's a sound made in her sleep, and not the stupid existential crisis it apparently really is. ]
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It doesn't.
Rather, her head spends the time sorting through those same thoughts that she's already shoved away, thoughts on which she would rather not focus, thoughts too soft and weak for her liking, the exact kind of wonderings that made her want to retreat into unconsciousness in the first place, wonderings made more of water than ice.
His fault, she decides, the thought bitter as it passes; only through fire can ice melt, after all. But deep down, she knows that's not true, no matter how loathe she is to admit it, no matter how instantly she tries to reject the thought as it surfaces.
She's lonely, that's all. She's been lonely for quite some time now.
That's just how it is, being an outcast not only from society, but from one's own family. And it's not like she does anything to help matters; she prefers it like thisโ at least that's what she tells herself, even nowโ it makes it easier to pursue the vengeance she seeks.
Or is it the other way aroundโ is her "vengeance" just another tool to keep people at a distance?
Keeping her from getting hurt.
Fall asleep, damnit.
She sighs, the sound sudden in the near-silent interior of the cave, an obvious contrast from the roaring storm outside. And then her cheeks heat, her body tensing.
With any luck, Diluc will just think it's a sound made in her sleep, and not the stupid existential crisis it apparently really is. ]